I try to fake some semblance of confidence in person, I try to be loud and proud about transness and gayness, but I honestly feel like a scared egg. I feel I've gone nowhere

Maybe a show about getting past your ex that probably isn't good for you but isn't a bad person was what I needed to see, but man it didn't feel good. It was a good show, but man..

She's an equal opportunity pervert, I just know it

I can't do anything without feeling the same thing over and over and over and over. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of being touch-starved, of being unwanted, of spending nights alone. I want to run into the arms of anyone that'll take me, but that's just how I got hurt before..

Like..I spend so much time Masking to please other people and I don't even realize I'm doing it. I don't know how to check in with myself and actually listen to what I feel, I just mask mask mask mask

It's worthless to spend so long pining after something that feels like it just hurts me when I have it..

Sex was alwaus this big symbol to me of my lack of intimacy and love, and in wanting it I pushed myself into situations that hurt me. Now I'm Trying to piece myself back together, trying to love myself, and all I can think about is how no one wants to love me that way

It's like..I guess it makes sense that someone with a fraught sexual history would have such complicated feelings about it, but man it really makes building healthy romantic relationships difficult

We're watching The Shining for Thanksgiving and unrelated to anything I need someone with big deep fuckin shelly duvall-ass eyes to sweep me off my feet

Thank you for making it!