Brent Noorda
@brent-noorda.com
Slow in the head, fast in the bed. Practicer of apatheism, putteraroundism, and animinimalianism.
Wanted: Archaeologist. Must have tools to excavate ancient asphalt. No flip flops.
November 25, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Wanted: Archaeologist. Must have tools to excavate ancient asphalt. No flip flops.
One man claims there is a God
The next is sure there is not
While God
In all his glory
Looks down and laughs and says So What
For God
Omnipotent God
Doesn’t give a diddley squat
The next is sure there is not
While God
In all his glory
Looks down and laughs and says So What
For God
Omnipotent God
Doesn’t give a diddley squat
November 19, 2025 at 2:09 AM
One man claims there is a God
The next is sure there is not
While God
In all his glory
Looks down and laughs and says So What
For God
Omnipotent God
Doesn’t give a diddley squat
The next is sure there is not
While God
In all his glory
Looks down and laughs and says So What
For God
Omnipotent God
Doesn’t give a diddley squat
I'm getting vitamins A through Z. I'm getting minerals. I'm getting whey protein. I'm getting apple cider vinegar and psyllium husk. But I'm not getting younger. Where can I get some younger?
November 18, 2025 at 7:30 AM
I'm getting vitamins A through Z. I'm getting minerals. I'm getting whey protein. I'm getting apple cider vinegar and psyllium husk. But I'm not getting younger. Where can I get some younger?
The perfect cup for me. I would have bought it, except for the 100 other perfect cups in my cupboard.
November 14, 2025 at 3:23 PM
The perfect cup for me. I would have bought it, except for the 100 other perfect cups in my cupboard.
Three cheers for politicians who don't always vote along party lines.
November 12, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Three cheers for politicians who don't always vote along party lines.
Could not type "butterfinger" on my phone keyboard this morning. Gave up after many attempts. I blame autocorrect, and my butter fingers.
November 7, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Could not type "butterfinger" on my phone keyboard this morning. Gave up after many attempts. I blame autocorrect, and my butter fingers.
If only men could get pregnant, abortion would be a controversial issue, with strong divisions between those who were pro-choice and those who were pro-life.
November 3, 2025 at 11:45 AM
If only men could get pregnant, abortion would be a controversial issue, with strong divisions between those who were pro-choice and those who were pro-life.
Scary halloween bathroom mirror.
November 2, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Scary halloween bathroom mirror.
Made 400 #NoKings magnetic lapel pins, and worried that was too many--that protesteres wouldn't take them after I said they were "free if you'll wear them every day". But they were gone in a flash. Should have made 4,000. Here's a link to get your own: brentnoorda.substack.com/p/no-kings-i...
October 18, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Made 400 #NoKings magnetic lapel pins, and worried that was too many--that protesteres wouldn't take them after I said they were "free if you'll wear them every day". But they were gone in a flash. Should have made 4,000. Here's a link to get your own: brentnoorda.substack.com/p/no-kings-i...
Seeing the SpaceX rocket over our Florida skies reminded me of this very short Musk-inspired story I wrote in 2014, in this blog post: brent-noorda.blogspot.com/2014/05/rich... Still the favorite of my very-short stories.
October 14, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Seeing the SpaceX rocket over our Florida skies reminded me of this very short Musk-inspired story I wrote in 2014, in this blog post: brent-noorda.blogspot.com/2014/05/rich... Still the favorite of my very-short stories.
Just celebrated my 63rd birthday. So, take THAT, all you suckers who died at 62.
September 23, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Just celebrated my 63rd birthday. So, take THAT, all you suckers who died at 62.
Had a medical crisis this morning, when I saw a whole lot of fresh red blood in my poop. After a half hour I recalled that I'd eaten a giant beet salad for dinner yesterday. Crisis averted. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
September 18, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Had a medical crisis this morning, when I saw a whole lot of fresh red blood in my poop. After a half hour I recalled that I'd eaten a giant beet salad for dinner yesterday. Crisis averted. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
Power corrupts. A lot of power corrupts a lotly.
September 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Power corrupts. A lot of power corrupts a lotly.
Whoever started "Birds are Violins" should be severely admonished. And given a dictionary. "Birds are Violins" is just silly. Stop it.
September 17, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Whoever started "Birds are Violins" should be severely admonished. And given a dictionary. "Birds are Violins" is just silly. Stop it.
𝗷𝗲𝗿𝗸𝗼𝗳𝗳 <ˈpōst> n. : publications on any social media site – 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘴: post, tweet, X, truth, skeet, thread – 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴: “In a Truth Social jerkoff, Trump declared war on Zabar Japan.”, “Bluesky is trending with jerkoffs sharing images of Gabriel Kotter groping Cindy Brady on Juan Epstein’s island.”
September 4, 2025 at 1:46 PM
𝗷𝗲𝗿𝗸𝗼𝗳𝗳 <ˈpōst> n. : publications on any social media site – 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘴: post, tweet, X, truth, skeet, thread – 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴: “In a Truth Social jerkoff, Trump declared war on Zabar Japan.”, “Bluesky is trending with jerkoffs sharing images of Gabriel Kotter groping Cindy Brady on Juan Epstein’s island.”
Scale said I'd gained wait, so I fired it.
August 2, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Scale said I'd gained wait, so I fired it.
What is wrong with shorts these days? The shorts with pockets are too long (rub against my knees and calves). The shorts without pockets are too short (my balls and butt cheeks hang out). What shape was the person who designed these two options?
July 18, 2025 at 6:01 PM
What is wrong with shorts these days? The shorts with pockets are too long (rub against my knees and calves). The shorts without pockets are too short (my balls and butt cheeks hang out). What shape was the person who designed these two options?
@fallofcivspod.bsky.social, is it too soon to begin an episode on the USA? Your historical shows are always great, but a real-time series could be quite interesting/depressing (interpressing?).
July 3, 2025 at 7:45 PM
@fallofcivspod.bsky.social, is it too soon to begin an episode on the USA? Your historical shows are always great, but a real-time series could be quite interesting/depressing (interpressing?).
Legendary Merger Disasters: TWX & AOL, VW & PAH3, HP & AUTN, NYC & PRR, DAI & C, FON & NXTL, LGB & T.
June 29, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Legendary Merger Disasters: TWX & AOL, VW & PAH3, HP & AUTN, NYC & PRR, DAI & C, FON & NXTL, LGB & T.
My palindrome name is Brentnerb. What's yours?
June 21, 2025 at 6:21 PM
My palindrome name is Brentnerb. What's yours?
“No, no. We’re not a king.” - the royal denial
June 13, 2025 at 1:56 PM
“No, no. We’re not a king.” - the royal denial
🧵 My son texted asking me why I’ve been wearing this pin on my shirts for the last few weeks. So I texted back:
June 7, 2025 at 10:39 PM
🧵 My son texted asking me why I’ve been wearing this pin on my shirts for the last few weeks. So I texted back: