My porn name would be Jennifer F*** Hewitt

If classic, pointy-eared, red Satan made music it would just be Three Dog Night.

Nothing is worse than when a Michael Jackson song comes on and you're not wearing a button down and there isn't a fan nearby.

I love that one part of 'Separate Ways' where Steve Perry wins singing.

Top 10 Songs About Sports:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5. Kenny Loggins - Playing with the Boys (?)
6.
7.
8.
9. Genesis - Match of the Day
10. John Fogerty - Put Me in Coach

Huh... I always thought it was "I like smoking night men, heavy metal thunder"

I wanna be that guy who's famous for - at music video shoots when no one can think of an idea - always suggesting "you guys should be, like, trapped in an insane asylum... because love drove you mad or something."
And then after a stunned silence everyone erupts in cheers wondering how I do it!

Next time ask your doctor if this burning is an eternal flame

The world is my sandwich and my mouth is the bread. Amen.

Bret Michaels in the 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn' video looks like a pre-Captain America Steve Rogers version of the wrestler Edge.

I want a fitness accurate Over The Top remake where Timotee Chalomet has a f***ing ripped right arm, a fat trucker ass, and the rest of him looks like he normally looks. And his son is played by a de-aged Will Wheaton.

I'm healthy, my rhymes make wealthy... but the Funky Bunch has never been there to help me 😔