Brian Allen
@brianallenmusician.bsky.social
Musician and human being -- St. Paul, MN
"And now a wood comes toward Dunsinane"
Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5)
Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5)
February 9, 2026 at 4:55 AM
"And now a wood comes toward Dunsinane"
Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5)
Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5)
[to the tune of "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead]:
The ring came off my pudding can
Take my penknife, my good man
The ring came off my pudding can
Take my penknife, my good man
January 31, 2026 at 3:02 PM
[to the tune of "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead]:
The ring came off my pudding can
Take my penknife, my good man
The ring came off my pudding can
Take my penknife, my good man
"Oh no, the printer jammed in the middle of my large print job! And the display screen has instructions on how to fix that, including pictures! Well... I guess I should just walk away and not even leave a note or anything." -- one of my coworkers, apparently
January 30, 2026 at 5:21 PM
"Oh no, the printer jammed in the middle of my large print job! And the display screen has instructions on how to fix that, including pictures! Well... I guess I should just walk away and not even leave a note or anything." -- one of my coworkers, apparently
2020s Dave Letterman + 2020s Woody Harrelson = 2020s Jeff Bridges
January 21, 2026 at 4:47 PM
2020s Dave Letterman + 2020s Woody Harrelson = 2020s Jeff Bridges
"This isn't just important because it happened to off-duty police officers, but"....
... but that's the only reason you're publicly speaking out about it now?
... but that's the only reason you're publicly speaking out about it now?
Brooklyn Park police chief Mark Bruley: "We're hearing people being stopped with no cause & being demanded to show paperwork to determine if they're here legally. We started hearing from our police officers the same complaints. Every one of these individuals is a person of color... it has to stop"
January 20, 2026 at 5:47 PM
"This isn't just important because it happened to off-duty police officers, but"....
... but that's the only reason you're publicly speaking out about it now?
... but that's the only reason you're publicly speaking out about it now?
I wonder if the "that" that Meat Loaf won't do is the same as the "that" for which Hall & Oates can't go.
January 20, 2026 at 12:17 PM
I wonder if the "that" that Meat Loaf won't do is the same as the "that" for which Hall & Oates can't go.
Getting tired of passive-voice, both-sides reporting like:
"Tensions erupted between A & B"
or
"A & B clashed"
when the real story is:
"B was peacefully demonstrating, and then A aggressively attacked them"
"Tensions erupted between A & B"
or
"A & B clashed"
when the real story is:
"B was peacefully demonstrating, and then A aggressively attacked them"
January 14, 2026 at 12:28 AM
Getting tired of passive-voice, both-sides reporting like:
"Tensions erupted between A & B"
or
"A & B clashed"
when the real story is:
"B was peacefully demonstrating, and then A aggressively attacked them"
"Tensions erupted between A & B"
or
"A & B clashed"
when the real story is:
"B was peacefully demonstrating, and then A aggressively attacked them"
[Trying to remember the words to "Take On Me"]
We're talking away
Worries for another day
I'll say it anyway
Down in Fraggle Rock
We're talking away
Worries for another day
I'll say it anyway
Down in Fraggle Rock
January 8, 2026 at 10:59 PM
[Trying to remember the words to "Take On Me"]
We're talking away
Worries for another day
I'll say it anyway
Down in Fraggle Rock
We're talking away
Worries for another day
I'll say it anyway
Down in Fraggle Rock
This kind of action tarnishes the historic, hallowed reputation of the FIFA Peace Prize
The United States has captured Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife in a military operation. President Trump announced the news on social media.
U.S. strikes Venezuela, captures Maduro and his wife
The United States has captured Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife in a military operation. President Trump announced the news on social media.
www.mprnews.org
January 3, 2026 at 7:45 PM
This kind of action tarnishes the historic, hallowed reputation of the FIFA Peace Prize
Actual footage of me working from home on the one day between Christmas and the weekend:
December 26, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Actual footage of me working from home on the one day between Christmas and the weekend:
Last night my subconscious mind invented a new character called Mr. Curry. He was sort of a white-haired southern gentleman known for being a tough customer with a larger-than-life personality. His full name was Ironside "Red" Curry.
December 26, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Last night my subconscious mind invented a new character called Mr. Curry. He was sort of a white-haired southern gentleman known for being a tough customer with a larger-than-life personality. His full name was Ironside "Red" Curry.
'As the federal agents departed the scene, protesters sang the chorus to “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye.”'
❤️💙🤍
www.mprnews.org/story/2025/1...
❤️💙🤍
www.mprnews.org/story/2025/1...
ICE agents call for backup during Minneapolis traffic stop, bystanders hurl insults and snowballs
Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded to a call for help from an agent who said 60 to 70 “agitators” were “fighting them.”
www.mprnews.org
December 16, 2025 at 6:27 PM
'As the federal agents departed the scene, protesters sang the chorus to “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye.”'
❤️💙🤍
www.mprnews.org/story/2025/1...
❤️💙🤍
www.mprnews.org/story/2025/1...
Names of year-end sales events:
Honda - "Happy Honda Days" 🎄
Kia - "Season of New Traditions" ⛄️
Lexus - "December to Remember"❄️
Ford - "Ford Year-End Sales Event" 😐
Honda - "Happy Honda Days" 🎄
Kia - "Season of New Traditions" ⛄️
Lexus - "December to Remember"❄️
Ford - "Ford Year-End Sales Event" 😐
December 7, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Names of year-end sales events:
Honda - "Happy Honda Days" 🎄
Kia - "Season of New Traditions" ⛄️
Lexus - "December to Remember"❄️
Ford - "Ford Year-End Sales Event" 😐
Honda - "Happy Honda Days" 🎄
Kia - "Season of New Traditions" ⛄️
Lexus - "December to Remember"❄️
Ford - "Ford Year-End Sales Event" 😐
I signed up for an online giveaway from Bush's Baked Beans and now my inbox is just spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam
November 29, 2025 at 1:02 AM
I signed up for an online giveaway from Bush's Baked Beans and now my inbox is just spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam
Look, I'm just an ordinary centipede. I put my pants on 50 legs at a time just like everyone else...
November 27, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Look, I'm just an ordinary centipede. I put my pants on 50 legs at a time just like everyone else...
[POPE]: What would you do
if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh baby, I get by...
[CARDINALS]: By with a little help from my friends!
if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh baby, I get by...
[CARDINALS]: By with a little help from my friends!
November 23, 2025 at 6:51 PM
[POPE]: What would you do
if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh baby, I get by...
[CARDINALS]: By with a little help from my friends!
if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh baby, I get by...
[CARDINALS]: By with a little help from my friends!
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face, in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face, in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you
November 23, 2025 at 6:24 PM
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face, in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face, in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you
GUY IN CHARGE OF THE PHOTO SHOOT FOR THE "52nd Street" ALBUM COVER: Okay, so, get this... y'know how you famously play the trumpet?
BILLY JOEL: Yeah...?
BILLY JOEL: Yeah...?
November 17, 2025 at 12:35 AM
GUY IN CHARGE OF THE PHOTO SHOOT FOR THE "52nd Street" ALBUM COVER: Okay, so, get this... y'know how you famously play the trumpet?
BILLY JOEL: Yeah...?
BILLY JOEL: Yeah...?
😆 Flav probably owns more analog clocks than almost anyone. This is gonna take him all day! Good luck @flavorflav.bsky.social 🕐🕜🕑
TIME to fall back and set yo clocks back one hour tonite,!!
a man wearing a green hat and a red hat is making a face
Alt: Flavor flav throws on some sunglasses
media.tenor.com
November 2, 2025 at 4:31 PM
😆 Flav probably owns more analog clocks than almost anyone. This is gonna take him all day! Good luck @flavorflav.bsky.social 🕐🕜🕑
Bad idea: @alyankovic.bsky.social should do a parody of his own song "Albuquerque" with new lyrics that describe the plot of Better Call Saul
#freeideas #badideas #weirdal
#freeideas #badideas #weirdal
October 31, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Bad idea: @alyankovic.bsky.social should do a parody of his own song "Albuquerque" with new lyrics that describe the plot of Better Call Saul
#freeideas #badideas #weirdal
#freeideas #badideas #weirdal
Sock it to me? Sock it to ME? Then who the else are you sockin' it to? Sock it to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the **** do you think you're sockin' it to?
October 28, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Sock it to me? Sock it to ME? Then who the else are you sockin' it to? Sock it to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the **** do you think you're sockin' it to?
F*** Ned Flanders -- marry Wilson from "Home Improvement" -- kill Steve Urkel
October 23, 2025 at 9:43 PM
F*** Ned Flanders -- marry Wilson from "Home Improvement" -- kill Steve Urkel
ME: What's the logo on your helmets?
CLEVELAND BROWNS: No logo, just a solid color.
ME:... brown??
CLEVELAND BROWNS: lol, you'd think so, but....
CLEVELAND BROWNS: No logo, just a solid color.
ME:... brown??
CLEVELAND BROWNS: lol, you'd think so, but....
October 5, 2025 at 3:35 PM
ME: What's the logo on your helmets?
CLEVELAND BROWNS: No logo, just a solid color.
ME:... brown??
CLEVELAND BROWNS: lol, you'd think so, but....
CLEVELAND BROWNS: No logo, just a solid color.
ME:... brown??
CLEVELAND BROWNS: lol, you'd think so, but....
#FreeIdeas The guys from Semisonic should have a line of apparel called "Clothing Time"
September 30, 2025 at 10:01 PM
#FreeIdeas The guys from Semisonic should have a line of apparel called "Clothing Time"