I was the first person to (ever on Earth) wear a Hawaiian shirt and that fact can be confirmed by Noris Mgwerta

As a 50 year old man I’m considering learning to play the flute, but I think I may have left it too late, as it’s 10 pm on a Saturday night and all the flute play learning shops in our village are closed.

My dog has started beating me at scrabble. I knew it was a mistake to buy him a dictionary for his birthday.

I saw a robin perched in a tree today, which may not sound particularly interesting, until you learn that I have a friend whose first name is Robin, making this story one of those incredible, hard to believe, coincidences. You get me?

I met a beagle named Gary recently. Please circulate this information amongst your family and friend.

I have one very warm knee and one very cold knee, and I don’t know which one to be worried about.

Some Americans aren’t arseholes.