Why toddler have no bones? Where bones? Also why this much drool? The hell? How is he not dehydrated. I need a mop. Send whiskey and bacon.

Sigh. Why is your two year old screaming. Oh you put him down? Because he asked you to? Yeah. Fuck your peace it’s all scream now. Get ear pro. Also diaper breach? Nope. Diaper bleach. Never touch your house again. Sorry. Poo lives here now. Reasons I am washing my couch…..

Everything is made of bees right now. Ideally that is amazing as we need more pollinators but in the colloquial version that is basically we are all fucked. Also I made waffle pizza this morning and burnt the shit out of my left index finger and I hate the whole world that touches it.

Long time, (internet time) no update. Hot. Too hot. Baby sick. Baby better. Baby vomiting because heat. SO tired. Found chunk of probably chicken nugget in my sandal. Left them on the porch and went to bed. I will hose things off tomorrow when it is not now. So tired.

Planning fruit picking and pizza day with the multi-pod is both delightful and requires post it notes detailing personal preferences, sleep cycles, budget options, dietary issues, personal comfort styles and timelines. I love that I can care about people and still use spreadsheets.

On the one hand. The world is progressively on fire to the point we are igniting our own emotional charcoal to get a hint of dismay. I had a mildly horrid interview that was still the best of the available options. and I had two straight days of intense chest pains that still are not a cardiac event

I scored a case of hatch peppers for what I consider a reasonable price. I am grilling these peppers. I am so tired I could cry. Does salsa and or green chili sauce benefit from tears? Asking for me. It’s me. I am that tired.

Burning the old shmutz off the charcoal grill in prep for a case of hatch peppers needing a good roast off to become salsa and green chili sauce. Baby is entranced with the fire. Relatable bubb. It is the feel of the year.

My toddler is wearing his pants that fit last week. They are now jeggings. I do not support denims claim to pretend to be spandex. Tight jeans? Sure. These are the pants David Bowie would have been handed if Jareth was from Alabama. I am calling it now before we loose the dignity we have left.

I am so exhausted. Saturday was a social event, reasonably pleasant. Sunday was a surprise puppy from a dog who had been convincingly faking a false pregnancy (My parents are still in shock but tentatively in love with the tiny bean) Way more blood than an average weekend.

Today was for errands and nonsense. I am now full of both. I shall be retiring to build summer salads for a potluck that is both nostalgic and likely to descend into utter ribaldry. My only defense is tomatoes and possibly properly seasoned burrata. Pray a rosemary for me.

In toddler news- Pants, Shirts and Socks are a hard no alongside Cauliflower. Bananas, protein shakes in both chocolate and strawberry, Zucchini, Broccoli, Summer squash and footy jams are still in the yes category. Hell yes continues to include chocolate and Dr Seuss. Carry on.

In a bid to regain some purchase on the fiscal realities, I attended an interview today. it was a prelim and digital. The email was unusually specific about how to prep and dress and what the company wanted to see. They even included links to their websites and study suggestions.

After an exhausting weekend spent with self doubt and a toddler who is at best skeptical of anything not provably a banana...I declare Mondays for resting up.

This is about 20 pounds of peaches peeled and waiting for processing into jam. Pie filling. Bbq sauce. And whatever else seems reasonable. I have about the same pending ripening.

I have now sneezed so many times in a row that my mate popped out the shower to see if I died. (Spoiler, I did not) I am in nasal hell but I am not in this moment allowed the sweet relief os rest. I must sneeze my way through hell assuming the Devil would not want to touch my nasal effluvium.

Sorting vintage linens for what can be repurposed. I am so lucky to have a crowd of people who also sew and do weird shit to help me think of things and take some of this pile to make something awesome of the past.

The toddler, His Fabulosity Bubbles the Wonder Fish, (claims to be human) Has been experimenting with doing front bends on his hands and toes. Occasionally he tips forward a TINY bit too far and I head thud! As thought the perfect coconut was just thumped on a wooden surface and then "Oh god."

I suppose it is time to remerge a tiny bit into the socials again after about.....ten ish years off? SO many things have happened and changed, with me, with you, with the world. Get ready to hear more about toddlers, cooking, That Damn Dog (TM), and a crumbling house than you wanted to know.