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Don’t Run With Scissors

@bsky-sam.bsky.social

760 followers 450 following 5.2K posts

In a world of chaotic uncertainty and binary polarisation, at least there’s one thing we can all agree on. Right?

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Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 3h

In the tube carriage of her mind.

Also. What the actual fuck?!

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 3h

Leicester Square
Warwick Avenue
Chiswick
Southwark
Streatham
I could go on….

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 3h

I’ll get the petrol.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 4h

Is it flammable? I hope it’s flammable.

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Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 7h

Nah, just bored of religious BS.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 7h

Admission is a loaded word.

I live in a country where one can freely state their lack of faith in a magic sky wizard. I’m sorry you don’t.

Jog on.

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Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 8h

Oh she did.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 8h

Lucky you didn’t ask Def Jam, they wouldn’t have heard you.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 8h

I think it’s the toms, as you can use tinned ones to the same effect. Allegedly.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 8h

Shudder. Any time I’m talking to someone with a bush growing from their nostrils, I have to restrain myself from reaching out and ‘pink!’ Same with ears.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 8h

That nose hair is way too distracting.

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Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 8h

Gold star, top of the class.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 8h

Fuck off

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 8h

And I assumed it was going to end with ‘ok everyone, tea break is over- back on your heads’

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 9h

It’s ghastly. Our little guy hasn’t rolled in any for years thankfully. 40 years on and we have a special shampoo for fox poo and it works quite well.

Apparently tomatoes do a good job of neutralising fox shit.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 9h

Everything the Tories do is to distract us from something they did or didn’t do.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 9h

I suspect she thinks no one needs stamps anymore and can just use email.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 9h

Why have I become a firefighter? I didn’t train for this or even apply.

Moreover, why am I a firefighter in a weird light entertainment orientated world?

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 9h

The first proven case of ‘this should’ve been an email’ in history.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 9h

I really don’t think anyone should be giving tablets to toddlers unless they’re a pharmacist.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 9h

That would be a nation literally built by immigrants.

What is the point of Tice?

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 9h

Our retriever years ago rolled in fox doings. My mum could not clean the smell off her so resorted to Channel No.5. Dog didn’t talk to any of us for days.

Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 10h

If our faith in atheism offends you- move on.

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Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 10h

They don’t have a cat in hells chance of getting back in.

That’s not the point, our opposition party thinks the arts are a waste of time and that’s a dangerous position for any politicians to be dancing around.

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Don’t Run With Scissors @bsky-sam.bsky.social · 11h

Not sure I follow. This is what the Tories would do if they win the next election.