wait no in the third layer under my skin

oh right and then there's the lying,

i thought for a while (few years? not sure..) that i'm not an angry person but i actually just suppress until something happens and then i get angry and sad and then suppress my feelings even more and feel bad about myself

all fighting for resources and envy and greed and anger and schadenfreude and being happy someone else hurts when i feel bad about them even if they're friends :<

but god like i'm so bad in thoughts. there's so much in my brain that's all bad i don't like it :(

could make an old post on bluesky too though