When the phone rang earlier I had just woken up from this beautiful weird dream of a... dark god... calling me into his eternal grace, taking me by the hand and guiding me into blessed oblivion, freeing me from all the pain and suffering of this mortal prison.

Thought I’d die in your arm, but the universe had different plans

I don’t care what anyone says, the first scary movie is a fucking classic

How I spent my Valentine’s Day

Anyone down for a Wii bowling beer league?