That's what i love about my cursed portrait, it keeps gettin' older, i stay the same age, alright alright alright

If i were going through the desert on a horse with no name that horse would have a name and 40 nicknames before i even got out of the rain

Bobby flay as the thing from the fantastic four: "it's calabrian time!"

Bruce campbell ran so matt dillion could walk

Hundreds of beavers (a porn parody)

Cute joke alert 🚨 It's tooth hurty, cause this mornin i was 8:10 too much candy 🙃

Happy pickup truck birthday everyone

Invincible is great its like if dragon ball z was voice acted exclusively by recurring comedy bang bang guests

I saw the coffee machine glow

"When they started the show the on-air producer was Andy Kneis, they called him the gray king because he always wore gray. He left to get bob paychecks, which is what they call paychecks from Disney, cause of bob chapek's name..."

Somebody at disney watching kumail nanjiani starring in the autobiographical story of falling in love with his future wife while she's in a medically induced coma, "lets make this fucker huge"

25 year old gen z girls will be like "i have hacked life itself!" and the hack is making spagehetti instead of doordashing a youpicktwo from a panera 8 miles away for $60

IRS came down on them for cooking their books

The critics having this more right than the audience has to be the most shocking thing on RT

Blaine Cappatch still follows me on twitter. Won't be able to fully commit to this thing until that's evened out.