S. Lastname
@bytheseat12.bsky.social
A nut in a nutshell
Just a rat treading water
Just a rat treading water
Pinned
S. Lastname
@bytheseat12.bsky.social
· Aug 13
Every day when you wake up, remind yourself that the Bible is not a government document. THE BIBLE IS NOT A GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT.
Put a finger in your eye if your dog has barked at the wind for 10 hour just kidding put it in my eye and just keep pushing until my brain gooes all the way out
January 14, 2026 at 10:39 PM
Put a finger in your eye if your dog has barked at the wind for 10 hour just kidding put it in my eye and just keep pushing until my brain gooes all the way out
Wife: "says a complete sentence that I can't hear"
Me: "What did you say?"
Wife: "repeats half that sentence from the middle"
Me: "That doesn't make sense?"
Wife: gets aggravated, finally repeats entire sentence, the first part of which included all of the pertinent information.
Every Single Time.
Me: "What did you say?"
Wife: "repeats half that sentence from the middle"
Me: "That doesn't make sense?"
Wife: gets aggravated, finally repeats entire sentence, the first part of which included all of the pertinent information.
Every Single Time.
January 9, 2026 at 6:43 AM
Wife: "says a complete sentence that I can't hear"
Me: "What did you say?"
Wife: "repeats half that sentence from the middle"
Me: "That doesn't make sense?"
Wife: gets aggravated, finally repeats entire sentence, the first part of which included all of the pertinent information.
Every Single Time.
Me: "What did you say?"
Wife: "repeats half that sentence from the middle"
Me: "That doesn't make sense?"
Wife: gets aggravated, finally repeats entire sentence, the first part of which included all of the pertinent information.
Every Single Time.
My ADHD-addled brain struggles so hard during the 45 seconds it takes to fill my 30 ounce water bottle a few times a day. It's physically challenging to stay in one place for so long.
January 6, 2026 at 5:31 AM
My ADHD-addled brain struggles so hard during the 45 seconds it takes to fill my 30 ounce water bottle a few times a day. It's physically challenging to stay in one place for so long.
Being married to a dyslexic means being utterly confused by her description of a book she's reading about a satin ritual. Are the textiles turning against us?
December 20, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Being married to a dyslexic means being utterly confused by her description of a book she's reading about a satin ritual. Are the textiles turning against us?
The bottom of my foot had a spot that hurt acutely for the past few days with no visible cause. Tonight at 2am I pulled out a hair splinter, which I didn't know existed until tonight at 1:58pm. I thought my own foot was gaslighting me. Anyway, the pain is finally gone.
December 8, 2025 at 7:56 AM
The bottom of my foot had a spot that hurt acutely for the past few days with no visible cause. Tonight at 2am I pulled out a hair splinter, which I didn't know existed until tonight at 1:58pm. I thought my own foot was gaslighting me. Anyway, the pain is finally gone.
I do this really dumb thing a few timesba week where I convince myself that I have a UTI because I have to pee every 5 minutes but then I realize I have to pee every 5 minutes because I drink so much damn water at once.
December 5, 2025 at 3:58 AM
I do this really dumb thing a few timesba week where I convince myself that I have a UTI because I have to pee every 5 minutes but then I realize I have to pee every 5 minutes because I drink so much damn water at once.
My wife turns 50 this year and last weekend she thought we couldn't run the water down the sink because I'd pulled the stopper out to clean it and now there was "a hole in it" meaning the drain where the water goes.
Listen, she's smart AND pretty.
Listen, she's smart AND pretty.
December 3, 2025 at 10:08 PM
My wife turns 50 this year and last weekend she thought we couldn't run the water down the sink because I'd pulled the stopper out to clean it and now there was "a hole in it" meaning the drain where the water goes.
Listen, she's smart AND pretty.
Listen, she's smart AND pretty.
Well then, you try putting on a white sweatshirt and not getting anything on it.
November 19, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Well then, you try putting on a white sweatshirt and not getting anything on it.
Tonight I solved the mystery to how I keep breaking my eyelashes off
October 23, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Tonight I solved the mystery to how I keep breaking my eyelashes off
If someone introduces themselves as XYZ name, what possesses people to take it upon themselves to call that person anything other than XYZ?
October 16, 2025 at 3:38 AM
If someone introduces themselves as XYZ name, what possesses people to take it upon themselves to call that person anything other than XYZ?
A bachelorette in your mid-forties means you're home and in a hot bath by 9pm with a belly full of tacos after a day of crafting with your besties. Made a stop by the community festival for a beer and some dancing too, but this bath tops the cake. Much thanks to my friends for such a great sendoff.
October 12, 2025 at 2:02 AM
A bachelorette in your mid-forties means you're home and in a hot bath by 9pm with a belly full of tacos after a day of crafting with your besties. Made a stop by the community festival for a beer and some dancing too, but this bath tops the cake. Much thanks to my friends for such a great sendoff.
How do you know if your dog has dementia? My 11 year old dog has been increasing in annoying behaviors that I can't explain. For some reason he will lay on his bed and randomly bark every few minutes. Just a single, non specific bark. Almost like he's just saying, "Hey, I'm here."
October 9, 2025 at 5:25 PM
How do you know if your dog has dementia? My 11 year old dog has been increasing in annoying behaviors that I can't explain. For some reason he will lay on his bed and randomly bark every few minutes. Just a single, non specific bark. Almost like he's just saying, "Hey, I'm here."
My co-worker and I wore the exact same outfit to work today! Our managing consultant thinks one of us should change.
Co-worker is my wife working from home, the managing consultant is our dog.
Co-worker is my wife working from home, the managing consultant is our dog.
October 8, 2025 at 4:00 PM
My co-worker and I wore the exact same outfit to work today! Our managing consultant thinks one of us should change.
Co-worker is my wife working from home, the managing consultant is our dog.
Co-worker is my wife working from home, the managing consultant is our dog.
I made it through day 1 of Operation TDBZ aka That Dress Better Zip by my wedding day.
October 2, 2025 at 5:23 AM
I made it through day 1 of Operation TDBZ aka That Dress Better Zip by my wedding day.
Well, unless you've sent your co-worker an kiss emoji totally by accident, you're doing better than me today.
September 30, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Well, unless you've sent your co-worker an kiss emoji totally by accident, you're doing better than me today.
Oh no, oh no. I said I was "really into baseball" as a joke, but my wife thought I was serious. Now she wants me to sit and watch paint dry for the rest of my life? Just one more reason why gays shouldn't get married, probably.
September 27, 2025 at 7:05 AM
Oh no, oh no. I said I was "really into baseball" as a joke, but my wife thought I was serious. Now she wants me to sit and watch paint dry for the rest of my life? Just one more reason why gays shouldn't get married, probably.
I feel like I'd restart my phone more often if it didn't take 10 full minutes to start up like the first personal computer everyone had in their homes in middle school that had 2 games, a word processor and 8-bit sound card.
September 15, 2025 at 7:31 PM
I feel like I'd restart my phone more often if it didn't take 10 full minutes to start up like the first personal computer everyone had in their homes in middle school that had 2 games, a word processor and 8-bit sound card.
Who you support is who you are.
Small minds = small hearts.
Protect your Peace.
Small minds = small hearts.
Protect your Peace.
September 12, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Who you support is who you are.
Small minds = small hearts.
Protect your Peace.
Small minds = small hearts.
Protect your Peace.
I used to think it was open-minded and inviting to have so many friends with different views - but I'm realizing I'm actually making space for people in my life who hold different 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚𝙨.
September 12, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I used to think it was open-minded and inviting to have so many friends with different views - but I'm realizing I'm actually making space for people in my life who hold different 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚𝙨.
I quietly removed 50 people from my "friends" list today and unfollowed/blocked nearly as many. Quietly, because there's just no use screaming into the void.
September 12, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I quietly removed 50 people from my "friends" list today and unfollowed/blocked nearly as many. Quietly, because there's just no use screaming into the void.
Why are we calling them "plane rides"? It's a flight. Call it a flight. I'm taking a flight. I'm going on a plane ride sounds far too casual for what it actually ends up being.
September 3, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Why are we calling them "plane rides"? It's a flight. Call it a flight. I'm taking a flight. I'm going on a plane ride sounds far too casual for what it actually ends up being.
Hey Karoline, who is Poo'in?
August 19, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Hey Karoline, who is Poo'in?
There is a severe lack of chins in Milwaukee.
August 16, 2025 at 11:21 PM
There is a severe lack of chins in Milwaukee.
My wife did something vulgar as a joke, so I said something vulgar in return. She loudly said, "OMG what is wrong with you!" and that's how I found out our neighbors were out on their deck and heard me, and my wife totally set me up. Anyway, this is why gays shouldn't get gay married, probably.
August 14, 2025 at 12:44 AM
My wife did something vulgar as a joke, so I said something vulgar in return. She loudly said, "OMG what is wrong with you!" and that's how I found out our neighbors were out on their deck and heard me, and my wife totally set me up. Anyway, this is why gays shouldn't get gay married, probably.
Every day when you wake up, remind yourself that the Bible is not a government document. THE BIBLE IS NOT A GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT.
August 13, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Every day when you wake up, remind yourself that the Bible is not a government document. THE BIBLE IS NOT A GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT.