The only good thing about reform is that they're consolidating red and blue Tory racists into a single party and splitting the unionist vote. It would still be nice if they had a chip pan fire, though.

He waits until the dog's asleep and tries again, but it wakes up and goes for him. After a few days, a beautiful blonde woman gets washed up on the beach and he can't believe his luck. As she approaches he says "thank christ you're here. Can you distract the dog.'

Can we have a Scotland that provides a donkey, a monkey and a Labrador to anyone that wants them?

Thanks, Margaret. I've added those. 🙂