Homeboy stopped the wrong lady

(H/T @agirlhasnopres.bsky.social )

Errands are for mornings in my opinion. Once the clock has struck noon it's time to start "settling in" on the way to winding down time (8 pm) followed of course by bedtime (10 pm)

A rap battle is two men writing poems about each other

a discount of 15% off is not a Black Friday sale <bangs gavel>

Cop: and are you currently under the influence of anything

Mario: [9 feet tall and flashing] no

juno by sabrina carpenter is really that song

Forgetting your headphones at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Roasted so bad in the group chat I’m googling the elements of defamation