Carissa Jean
@carissa-jean.bsky.social
Artist, writer, zine maker, tired
How I imagine Sarah Jessica Parker helped judge the Booker Prize
November 10, 2025 at 11:52 PM
How I imagine Sarah Jessica Parker helped judge the Booker Prize
The universe has been pretty unchill about reminding me that I’m 37 and haven’t had a baby yet. So, I dunno, Joe, I might not be a birthing person. But I for sure am a dumb hairy cunt (they just won’t let me use that as my pronouns in bio).
September 5, 2025 at 1:36 AM
The universe has been pretty unchill about reminding me that I’m 37 and haven’t had a baby yet. So, I dunno, Joe, I might not be a birthing person. But I for sure am a dumb hairy cunt (they just won’t let me use that as my pronouns in bio).
First of all - where exactly is this money going?!
Second of all - I know the horrors are extreme, but the “super duper” really got me here
Second of all - I know the horrors are extreme, but the “super duper” really got me here
August 11, 2025 at 7:11 PM
First of all - where exactly is this money going?!
Second of all - I know the horrors are extreme, but the “super duper” really got me here
Second of all - I know the horrors are extreme, but the “super duper” really got me here
Fuel for my haters: I think I liked Eddington?
July 20, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Fuel for my haters: I think I liked Eddington?
Sending these to my friends isn’t enough, I wish I could let Shirley Jackson know personally every time one of her sentences absolutely slapped me across the face.
July 12, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Sending these to my friends isn’t enough, I wish I could let Shirley Jackson know personally every time one of her sentences absolutely slapped me across the face.
There’s a level of “we’ve already given up” in this messaging. A dismissal of constituents calling and demanding action. If your voters are already angry at your inaction, who are you afraid will be mad if you leverage the one bit of power you have?!
February 18, 2025 at 4:49 PM
There’s a level of “we’ve already given up” in this messaging. A dismissal of constituents calling and demanding action. If your voters are already angry at your inaction, who are you afraid will be mad if you leverage the one bit of power you have?!
My mom and her twin sister had their 65th birthday on Sunday. They exchanged poems and gifts. My mother, who insists she’s not creative, started her poem with this exceptional stunner of an opening line.
January 7, 2025 at 4:22 AM
My mom and her twin sister had their 65th birthday on Sunday. They exchanged poems and gifts. My mother, who insists she’s not creative, started her poem with this exceptional stunner of an opening line.
Also: the audacity of ANYONE who works at Amazon thinking their presence is “improving” or “reviving” Seattle. We simply must bully capitalist nerds again and never stop.
January 3, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Also: the audacity of ANYONE who works at Amazon thinking their presence is “improving” or “reviving” Seattle. We simply must bully capitalist nerds again and never stop.
My cold, cruel heart could care less about novelty popcorn boxes. But these little “seat’s taken” coffin icons?! These must be protected at all costs! Look how cute they are!!
December 25, 2024 at 6:07 PM
My cold, cruel heart could care less about novelty popcorn boxes. But these little “seat’s taken” coffin icons?! These must be protected at all costs! Look how cute they are!!
Ladies, I almost spit my drink out at how good of a take this casting of an updated Practical Magic would be (provided by Lindy West and her amazing Butt News substack)
open.substack.com/pub/buttnews...
open.substack.com/pub/buttnews...
November 12, 2024 at 1:55 AM
Ladies, I almost spit my drink out at how good of a take this casting of an updated Practical Magic would be (provided by Lindy West and her amazing Butt News substack)
open.substack.com/pub/buttnews...
open.substack.com/pub/buttnews...
Lol fuck all of you, California
November 6, 2024 at 7:11 AM
Lol fuck all of you, California
Listen, NPR, some of us had family participate in Jan 6, so in that case it WOULD be our families stressing us out
October 28, 2024 at 6:30 AM
Listen, NPR, some of us had family participate in Jan 6, so in that case it WOULD be our families stressing us out
Disgusting shit to see. Also I don’t think these folks realize we can literally unplug AI at any time. I mean, I am sure my mother also thought Beanie Babies would be here to stay. At least those were tangible.
October 10, 2024 at 10:02 PM
Disgusting shit to see. Also I don’t think these folks realize we can literally unplug AI at any time. I mean, I am sure my mother also thought Beanie Babies would be here to stay. At least those were tangible.
I’ve worked in tech media with editors like this. And no one on the team was happy working with them. I had to prep all incoming writers on the editor’s intense style of editing. Had to ignore a lot of their suggestions for publication. It just creates more work for everyone.
October 2, 2024 at 3:36 PM
I’ve worked in tech media with editors like this. And no one on the team was happy working with them. I had to prep all incoming writers on the editor’s intense style of editing. Had to ignore a lot of their suggestions for publication. It just creates more work for everyone.
Israel out here contemplating how much the US will let them get away with
September 30, 2024 at 8:07 PM
Israel out here contemplating how much the US will let them get away with
Just adding another one to the pile. How far is “no place too far” and when do we think they’ll turn the language of “terrorism” around on college students or pro-Palestinian protests?
September 29, 2024 at 4:35 PM
Just adding another one to the pile. How far is “no place too far” and when do we think they’ll turn the language of “terrorism” around on college students or pro-Palestinian protests?
In theory, this includes the USA. Israel is navigating towards nuclear war and leveraging our election cycle to get away with it. Someone needs to tell Netanyahu he’s a messy bitch instead of giving him billions of bombs
September 28, 2024 at 3:30 PM
In theory, this includes the USA. Israel is navigating towards nuclear war and leveraging our election cycle to get away with it. Someone needs to tell Netanyahu he’s a messy bitch instead of giving him billions of bombs
I do NOT want to shop for a Film Candle™. I want to bring physical media back!
September 23, 2024 at 3:18 AM
I do NOT want to shop for a Film Candle™. I want to bring physical media back!
Well, Ravi, that was your first mistake.
September 22, 2024 at 4:05 PM
Well, Ravi, that was your first mistake.
Finally, it ends with a messy call for trigger warnings on trailers. Which, outside of logistics for implementing these, this also assumes that people are incapable of googling a movie before deciding to see it.
August 28, 2024 at 4:12 PM
Finally, it ends with a messy call for trigger warnings on trailers. Which, outside of logistics for implementing these, this also assumes that people are incapable of googling a movie before deciding to see it.
And this has chilled me to my core: it seems this article is willing to enable the conflation of actors and the characters they portray. Why highlight this quote? Why keep it in? Why not do more to point out how weird it is to frame media consumption this way?
August 28, 2024 at 4:09 PM
And this has chilled me to my core: it seems this article is willing to enable the conflation of actors and the characters they portray. Why highlight this quote? Why keep it in? Why not do more to point out how weird it is to frame media consumption this way?
First of all, most of the people interviewed haven’t actually seen the film, maybe? It seems like the bulk of this article is about the promotional materials for the film instead of the film itself. Which, I could write a thesis on this weird flattening and moralizing trend…
August 28, 2024 at 4:07 PM
First of all, most of the people interviewed haven’t actually seen the film, maybe? It seems like the bulk of this article is about the promotional materials for the film instead of the film itself. Which, I could write a thesis on this weird flattening and moralizing trend…
This article has terrified me to my core. It’s essentially a sentient tweet. Its research is literally the comments section. What is happening @npr.org ?!
August 28, 2024 at 4:04 PM
This article has terrified me to my core. It’s essentially a sentient tweet. Its research is literally the comments section. What is happening @npr.org ?!
Had to order her special, but she finally arrived and I am so excited! Support your local book stores and libraries and visceral horror matriarchs! Time to once again let @scumbelievable.bsky.social ruin me and I couldn’t be happier
June 26, 2024 at 9:44 PM
Had to order her special, but she finally arrived and I am so excited! Support your local book stores and libraries and visceral horror matriarchs! Time to once again let @scumbelievable.bsky.social ruin me and I couldn’t be happier
Does the Mellon Foundation know that the majority of Portland’s Art Tax (a controversial and possibly illegal taxation that only passed because we were told it would go to schools) actually goes directly to Portland Center Stage? 👀 @npr.org
March 27, 2024 at 5:38 PM
Does the Mellon Foundation know that the majority of Portland’s Art Tax (a controversial and possibly illegal taxation that only passed because we were told it would go to schools) actually goes directly to Portland Center Stage? 👀 @npr.org