Carm
@carminabelljar.bsky.social
21 • ednos • 6’1 •
dni :: minors • fatphobic • non edsky
tw :: 🍷🍃💊🔪
dni :: minors • fatphobic • non edsky
tw :: 🍷🍃💊🔪
dumb bitch who spends all day thinking about food decides to do her dissertation on how food insecurity increases eating disorders 😃
(euthanise me i beg)
(euthanise me i beg)
January 9, 2026 at 2:05 PM
dumb bitch who spends all day thinking about food decides to do her dissertation on how food insecurity increases eating disorders 😃
(euthanise me i beg)
(euthanise me i beg)
also sorry for the lack of ed content/rants my life is a shitshow and my eating has been so fucking inconsistent i’m trying everything i can to not hyperfixate on it (its all i think abt all day)
January 9, 2026 at 2:03 PM
also sorry for the lack of ed content/rants my life is a shitshow and my eating has been so fucking inconsistent i’m trying everything i can to not hyperfixate on it (its all i think abt all day)
xan my beloveddddddddd 🥰 ty for getting me through the crazy shit ive had to put up w recently 🙏 when therapy fails u always had my back 💋 forver indebted to u ♥️🧎♀️➡️
January 9, 2026 at 2:03 PM
xan my beloveddddddddd 🥰 ty for getting me through the crazy shit ive had to put up w recently 🙏 when therapy fails u always had my back 💋 forver indebted to u ♥️🧎♀️➡️
My ex is being tested for aspd … and so the dots start to connect
December 24, 2025 at 9:50 PM
My ex is being tested for aspd … and so the dots start to connect
in my family home for christmas and despite this being the best visit i’ve ever had i am still consumed with the urge to destroy and feel my blood dripping down my limbs. god i miss that beautiful red and the way it stains.
December 22, 2025 at 8:29 PM
in my family home for christmas and despite this being the best visit i’ve ever had i am still consumed with the urge to destroy and feel my blood dripping down my limbs. god i miss that beautiful red and the way it stains.
how am i NOT supposed to fall in love when he:
- pays for everything
- buys thoughtful gifts wo hints
- doesnt force me to make decisions
- anticipates my needs
- priorities my happiness even in bed
- touches me sensually not just physically
- compliments the lil things
- notices my body language
- pays for everything
- buys thoughtful gifts wo hints
- doesnt force me to make decisions
- anticipates my needs
- priorities my happiness even in bed
- touches me sensually not just physically
- compliments the lil things
- notices my body language
December 20, 2025 at 5:11 PM
how am i NOT supposed to fall in love when he:
- pays for everything
- buys thoughtful gifts wo hints
- doesnt force me to make decisions
- anticipates my needs
- priorities my happiness even in bed
- touches me sensually not just physically
- compliments the lil things
- notices my body language
- pays for everything
- buys thoughtful gifts wo hints
- doesnt force me to make decisions
- anticipates my needs
- priorities my happiness even in bed
- touches me sensually not just physically
- compliments the lil things
- notices my body language
guys help i’m catching feelings for my sugar ddy lol
December 18, 2025 at 6:14 PM
guys help i’m catching feelings for my sugar ddy lol
hey guys apparently working on your physical & mental health doesn’t make doing tasks easier?
you just learn that if you don’t do the tasks things only get worse and you just have to suck it tf up and live anyways???
this is a scam???????
you just learn that if you don’t do the tasks things only get worse and you just have to suck it tf up and live anyways???
this is a scam???????
December 11, 2025 at 11:55 AM
hey guys apparently working on your physical & mental health doesn’t make doing tasks easier?
you just learn that if you don’t do the tasks things only get worse and you just have to suck it tf up and live anyways???
this is a scam???????
you just learn that if you don’t do the tasks things only get worse and you just have to suck it tf up and live anyways???
this is a scam???????
my best friend is depressed so she is negative 24/7 and spends every day with me. i want to support her but it’s starting to really effect my mental state & burn me out. im craving positive social interaction but too tired to socialise with strangers 😔
December 5, 2025 at 5:14 PM
my best friend is depressed so she is negative 24/7 and spends every day with me. i want to support her but it’s starting to really effect my mental state & burn me out. im craving positive social interaction but too tired to socialise with strangers 😔
I deserve this. I have lived through such a dense, complex pile of traumatic experiences. I fucking deserve to finally get a break. To get it right. I deserve to be happy.
December 5, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I deserve this. I have lived through such a dense, complex pile of traumatic experiences. I fucking deserve to finally get a break. To get it right. I deserve to be happy.
I spent my whole childhood self-destructing to try to prove that i was in agony i couldn’t verbalise, only to be trapped in the same patterns as an adult with only the expectation of healing myself.
December 4, 2025 at 10:34 AM
I spent my whole childhood self-destructing to try to prove that i was in agony i couldn’t verbalise, only to be trapped in the same patterns as an adult with only the expectation of healing myself.
I am hungry 47/7 even after eating and I cannot stop thinking about food SAVE MEEEEE
November 30, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I am hungry 47/7 even after eating and I cannot stop thinking about food SAVE MEEEEE
I have to write a character reference for my father and I feel the child me explaining to the police what mums ex did in my head
November 28, 2025 at 9:30 PM
I have to write a character reference for my father and I feel the child me explaining to the police what mums ex did in my head
1L water, lecture & a walk later the pain is now mild 🥳
me: i don’t have an ED & I’m just weird with food
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
November 25, 2025 at 3:54 PM
1L water, lecture & a walk later the pain is now mild 🥳
me: i don’t have an ED & I’m just weird with food
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
November 25, 2025 at 1:29 PM
me: i don’t have an ED & I’m just weird with food
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
also me: lays on the floor for 15m from the pain & nausea of reactive hunger because i’d rather that than eat
my father’s trial is today and i missed his call bc i was getting on the train home from seeing a SD. this is the first time my body has even considered crying since i broke up w my ex 2 months ago.
November 24, 2025 at 11:50 AM
my father’s trial is today and i missed his call bc i was getting on the train home from seeing a SD. this is the first time my body has even considered crying since i broke up w my ex 2 months ago.
why do doctors never make u take ur shoes off when they weigh u like fuck u i’m not acc that heavy
November 19, 2025 at 1:39 PM
why do doctors never make u take ur shoes off when they weigh u like fuck u i’m not acc that heavy
the nausea is starting to really hurt but i refuse to eat esp when im starting birth control today
November 19, 2025 at 9:21 AM
the nausea is starting to really hurt but i refuse to eat esp when im starting birth control today
I’M FREE FROM THE CONSTRAINTS OF THERAPY LETS GOOOOOO
November 18, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I’M FREE FROM THE CONSTRAINTS OF THERAPY LETS GOOOOOO
got an appt for birth control so i don’t get pregnant by a man 2.5x my age lol. if i had to have another abortion i would go insane.
November 16, 2025 at 3:20 PM
got an appt for birth control so i don’t get pregnant by a man 2.5x my age lol. if i had to have another abortion i would go insane.
guys apparently if you start actually acknowledging & fulfilling your needs then living becomes … bearable????
AND if you *prioritise* those needs life becomes…. actually enjoyable????????
child me is rolling in her grave rn.
AND if you *prioritise* those needs life becomes…. actually enjoyable????????
child me is rolling in her grave rn.
November 15, 2025 at 3:27 PM
guys apparently if you start actually acknowledging & fulfilling your needs then living becomes … bearable????
AND if you *prioritise* those needs life becomes…. actually enjoyable????????
child me is rolling in her grave rn.
AND if you *prioritise* those needs life becomes…. actually enjoyable????????
child me is rolling in her grave rn.
only problem currently is that my fav SD is starting to notice how little I eat esp around him :/ so I have to start fasting again a day or two before we meet so I can eat a “normal” amount
November 15, 2025 at 2:31 PM
only problem currently is that my fav SD is starting to notice how little I eat esp around him :/ so I have to start fasting again a day or two before we meet so I can eat a “normal” amount
already speaking about if we were to switch to allowance with my fave SD, the other collared me on the second meet, both worship the ground I walk on, perfume has been restocked, saw a west end theatre show for the first time, i have literally never felt sexier.
November 15, 2025 at 2:30 PM
already speaking about if we were to switch to allowance with my fave SD, the other collared me on the second meet, both worship the ground I walk on, perfume has been restocked, saw a west end theatre show for the first time, i have literally never felt sexier.
impulsively running away to see SD #2 who’s plans got cancelled literally 5 hours after getting home from SD #1 both 😭😭
November 14, 2025 at 4:12 PM
impulsively running away to see SD #2 who’s plans got cancelled literally 5 hours after getting home from SD #1 both 😭😭
I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I
November 12, 2025 at 1:19 PM
I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I am kind. I am perfect. I am sexy. I am intelligent. I