Parents got me a shiesty for Christmas
December 26, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Parents got me a shiesty for Christmas
Gifted my new boyfriend salt and he got me pepper is this fated
December 25, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Gifted my new boyfriend salt and he got me pepper is this fated
The inheritance conversation is the birds and the bees talk of adulthood
December 19, 2025 at 3:16 PM
The inheritance conversation is the birds and the bees talk of adulthood
Zynning in a Scandinavian fashion
December 14, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Zynning in a Scandinavian fashion
No longer a misandrist a man cooked me pork cutlets with orange/shaved brussel slaw accompanied by goat cheese/prosciutto/pistachio dip it’s fuckin over
December 9, 2025 at 6:58 AM
No longer a misandrist a man cooked me pork cutlets with orange/shaved brussel slaw accompanied by goat cheese/prosciutto/pistachio dip it’s fuckin over
I’ll take self-inflicted gunshot wound for 300 Alex
November 22, 2025 at 1:11 PM
I’ll take self-inflicted gunshot wound for 300 Alex
My tobacco-chewing Appalachian ancestors smile down upon me as I place cool mint zyn in my upper lip
November 20, 2025 at 10:31 PM
My tobacco-chewing Appalachian ancestors smile down upon me as I place cool mint zyn in my upper lip
Turned 25 and Bruce Springsteen immediately started making a lot of sense
October 20, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Turned 25 and Bruce Springsteen immediately started making a lot of sense
Too sensitive for the line🤝too mean for FOH
Pastry👍👍👍👍👍
Pastry👍👍👍👍👍
September 7, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Too sensitive for the line🤝too mean for FOH
Pastry👍👍👍👍👍
Pastry👍👍👍👍👍
Be very suspicious of pastry chefs
June 21, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Be very suspicious of pastry chefs
I’ll be the first to admit that it was evil of me to go to Orange Theory while using crystal deodorant
May 29, 2025 at 3:59 AM
I’ll be the first to admit that it was evil of me to go to Orange Theory while using crystal deodorant
Keep finding myself in the Costco parking lot eating an entire 2lb box of dates
May 9, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Keep finding myself in the Costco parking lot eating an entire 2lb box of dates
They don’t make shit like this anymore
April 19, 2025 at 2:12 AM
They don’t make shit like this anymore
I’m all for a holistic lifestyle but you can pry my tretinoin and hormonal IUD out of my cold dead hands
April 14, 2025 at 6:59 PM
I’m all for a holistic lifestyle but you can pry my tretinoin and hormonal IUD out of my cold dead hands
Gonna tear up this Diet Coke extra lime from the Sonic
April 9, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Gonna tear up this Diet Coke extra lime from the Sonic
Everyone knows I love carrot cake
April 7, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Everyone knows I love carrot cake
A little too high for human interaction - picking up a pizza at my coworkers other job encountering people I went to high school with - please understand that I am half a person at the moment
April 7, 2025 at 12:43 AM
A little too high for human interaction - picking up a pizza at my coworkers other job encountering people I went to high school with - please understand that I am half a person at the moment
Every time I go to my parents’ house I come home with random ass loot today I got 2 peach trees, a box of blackberries, a mini can of Fresca, one pear, and a bag of bone meal
April 2, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Every time I go to my parents’ house I come home with random ass loot today I got 2 peach trees, a box of blackberries, a mini can of Fresca, one pear, and a bag of bone meal