Iris, again
LightNews LightNews
banner
cassperastra.bsky.social
Iris, again
@cassperastra.bsky.social
140 followers 150 following 860 posts
planted again not remembered in last year's twice-burned soil

peculiar & sweet

recovery mode

I don't wander so much on the timeline, but I welcome visitors to reply and talk

Discord cassperastra
Posts Replies Media Videos
cassperastra.bsky.social
I do love how the last lines of a poem spilling over onto a verso page can become poems all their own. (From Gabrielle Calvociressi's Rocket Fantastic.)
and wish myself up there with you just calm and swinging through the dark. we had fun. You haven't lived until a fox has whispered something the ferns told him in your one good ear. I mean truly. You have not lived.
January 2, 2024 at 10:03 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
CW: blood, needles, nudity (no genitals, tho i skirt close)

"9 thorns raised in a palisade against an unjust suzerainty over my heart"

Reclaiming my body is a nonlinear process, and this was good work toward that. (This is an exception to my usual tame posting; don't expect too much like this.)
I (white brunette woman with brown eyes) am kneeling, my butt resting on my heels. You can just make out that my knees are spread wide and the flesh about my hips rolls just a little. I am looking up at the camera smiling and naked, wearing just a silver pendant and two pairs of needles inserted through my skin just above my breasts. A profile view of my small breasts with a silver pendant hanging between them. You can clearly see two needle inserted above the nearest breast, and less clearly the two needles inserted above the other breast. Peace lily silhouettes can be seen in blurrily behind me. In this shot, you can see my chin in three-quarters profile, a hintof my lips, the sharp lines of my neck muscles and collar bones, three needles inserted vertically above my small breast, a bit of my arm and shoulder, and the curve of my stomach toward my navel where the flesh rolls a little, suggesting a softness there. The needles have been inserted upward, the blue base below and the sharp tip above, and the skin is red where I have patted the needles firmly with my fingers. My silver pendant can be seen at the edge of the shot. In this shot, I have taken all but one of the the needles out. None have the punctures have done more than produce a bead of blood, but this one surprises and delights me by bleeding dramatically from both ends of the puncture. I wasn't even looking, was turning to dispose of the needle, when I felt the trickles down my side and along the curve of my breast, and a drop falling from my breast to my thigh. Here you can see that I have tasted the blood--there is a smear of it on my lips.
January 1, 2024 at 8:53 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
I am doing just a little packing to think & came across these handwritten conference notes; something important here about my relationship to the Great Lakes region that I can't explain yet. I typed them up because I like y'all and don't want to subject you to my handwriting at this holy hour.
(sorry going to lose the outline formatting here) Conference Notes (2019) the limits of my body the physical pain of standing of walking always too slow prone to stumble to wobble the dialectic of distraction of restlessness of small pains of fatigue the drift of pen into incoherent trailing of my eyes beneath my lids to speak of myself of my own challenges for the sake of someone else of the play of values between large + small of the middling between capitalization & seriousness the danger of the middle as the agent of averages where participation becomes prestige where need turns toward profit the field where service tilts the small toward the public the library the larger may subtend the smaller join them to fields of capital the field where the fruits of profit may be used by the public of translation between communities of common capacity obscured by technical jargon between communities of the powerful and the language of their oppressed often borrowed and repurposed between resistance + liberation between content + cover know the mother forget father-empire of ghost once ancestor lost displaced South Africa forgotten Detroit's Black face beaded arms bless the dead Elizabeth become Black Queen Combahee buried beneath the intersection cool and white, forward thinking Pleasant meals and late night tables amidst the realization of homes purchased of careers pursued of children and drag dreams my slow sure realization these are not my dreams where are all the tears for my dead + dying + suffering where are all my hopes for a world they might thrive Elevator songs the smooth slide of vehicle corded through the well-greased shaft that the walls of my room sing in harmony with while the electronic beeps give rhythm to the patter of rain on my window down Woodward the Black fist suspended drizzled, glistening through the park returning, the rain until my hair slick + wet laughing across the street through the wide glass doors, up escalators laughing though my hotel room door peeling off wet clothes
December 26, 2023 at 8:38 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Sitting in the car as night approaches, I am little more than a weight of flesh and bone anchoring this moment with the sky and earth and all the movements of robin, squirrel, and cars between. It is so peaceful like this. The cooling air eventually sets me in motion, still more watcher than woman.
Trees silhouetted at dusk. A taller tree, all leafless branches reaching toward the sky, amidst smaller evergreens, the largest to the left is a pleasant leafy curve against the twilight.
December 23, 2023 at 11:26 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Iris by solstice candlelight. Hello from the long night.
A brunette white woman with shoulder-length hair looking directly at the camera and smiling. Lit only by candlelight, there is a redness to the shot, and her eyes are dark and shadowed.
December 22, 2023 at 7:37 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
A little early for Three Kings Day, but vultures keep their own calendar.
A pale brown brick church with scrubby autumn trees around it. The cross that rises from the roof has three vultures on it--one on each arm and a third at the top of the cross. One of them was preening 🩵 The front of a brown brick church with an arch of stained glass. The cross that rises from its roof has been occupied by three vultures, one on each arm and a third at the top.
December 19, 2023 at 8:57 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
I have been coming back to this. Benjamin was one of the closest academically approved model I had for how I have tried to live in the world and fallen short. It's how I am thinking about moving, too, as an effort to relocate myself in the crossroads of history & spirits. I know, I am so practical.
<i>The tradition of the oppressed teaches us that the "emergency situation" in which we live is the rule. We must arrive at a concept of history which corresponds to this. Then it will become clear that the task before us in the introduction of a real state of emergency; and our position in the struggle against Fascism will thereby improve...</i> I am depending on this Benjamin paragraph, as to explain where I am now but of course after I have said that I realize that while I may have picked this paragraph up in a small bookstore one day a few years ago I have understood its uncanniness all my life. All my life but to complete this task would have meant some difficult decisions on my part not the least of which was to live the statement out —Dionne Brand, from Nomenclature for the Time Being, in <i>Nomenclature</i>, 59
December 18, 2023 at 7:08 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Proof of life ;) also proof of dancing. Not seen in the picture: the candle-lit prayers before, the bead of sweat on the surface of the screen, the slight disappointment at only a few of this week's songs being fast, the pancakes after.
White brunette woman smiling, just a little wild eyed. She is wearing a black tank top and is a bit disheveled. I don't know why I like looking at myself a bit disheveled, but I do.
December 11, 2023 at 8:14 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
I wish the penumbra showed up in the picture, such a beautiful and perfect ice-pale halo.
The moon, not quite full, high in the cold autumn air. Jupiter still follows in the wake, and if you could see the penumbra, it would lie just within the moon-blessed circle.
November 24, 2023 at 5:14 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Joyous Sunday solo dancing, finding the ways to drag and lift and twist around the arthritis in my most painful foot, and still I wish it had ever been with you.
A brunette white woman laying down after some vigorous dancing in her living room. She is wearing a black tank top, her right arm is raised above her head, her head rests on a nubbly gray pillow. She is smiling, her brown eyes shining with her mouth. I swear I am not always disheveled ;)
November 12, 2023 at 4:43 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
The slow dissolution of symmetry.
An old spider's web, a semicircle of radiating spokes along which curves are woven. A bit of leaf can be seen, and there are gaps where strands have broken and never been replaced.
November 12, 2023 at 5:03 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Even after years walking the paths that join the apartment buildings around us, there are nights where by virtue of the direction taken through them, that I am walking by night rather than by day, or in leafless autumn rather than green spring, I wind myself along one that feels new and strange.
A dark tangle of branches, some winding around the other. In the dark, I cannot tell whether it is one tree twisting around itself, or the remnants of a thick vine from which the tree has since been freed.
November 12, 2023 at 4:51 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Pieces of whatever it is I am chasing right now.
Books on a shelf: Epistles of the Brethren of Purity 52a.on magic; Sefer Yetzirah; Meccan Revelations I; This Is How You Lose the Time War; Haiti, History, and the Gods; A Recitation of Ifa; Mystical Dimensions of Islam; Times Square Red, Times Square Blue, Art & Practice of Geomancy; Sacred Leaves of Candomble; Agitated Air; The Blue Clerk; The Descent of Alette; Louise Glück Poems 1962-2012; Kongo Graphic Writing; Nomenclature; Crip Negativity; Spill; Billion Black Anthropocene; Young-girls in Echoland; rope; notebooks
November 11, 2023 at 5:26 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Belatedly, good morning. The weekend is for letting the disorder find its order.
A brown-eyed brunette woman (me) with unkempt hair wearing a long-sleeve black shirt and a warm smile.
November 11, 2023 at 5:14 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Practicing the queer art of folding myself into a chair. Who wants to just sit in a chair anyway?
Me (longish white brunette woman in a long blue denim skirt and light blue tank top with an unbuttoned flannel shirt, the sleeves rolled up; I am sitting in a blue office chair, between its arm bars, with my legs almosy folded to my chest; my visible hand holds the charger plug to my phone, and my mouth is a quizzical slash as I try to line up the camera and accidentally take a picture.) The same shot, just me smiling, one eyebrow raised higher than the other as it often is.
November 3, 2023 at 11:42 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Pumpkin season.
Our small little jack-o'-lanterns: to the left (my partner's), a classic with triangular eyes and nose, tightly placed above a sharp and narrow smile (it weed tipped and some wax dribbles from the mouth); to the right (mine), one with circular eyes widely spaced above an oval mouth. A very small orange pumpkin on a striped yellow table cloth, with two small brown acorns resting in the hollow curve atop it to either side of its green stem. This is my emotional support pumpkin, a reminder of the mother of pleasures and tears, and her twins.
November 2, 2023 at 4:09 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Sometimes, the silly queer astrology app cuts way too close for comfort.
Co-star:You want to be found. (With a black and white picture of me beneath)
November 2, 2023 at 3:51 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Here, a photo of a sunny day at least. May the (jersey?) rain be soothing.
The grass, the sidewalk, the trees, and a pond so still you can see the nearby apartments reflected in the waters. A little blurry, shaky hand cam style.
October 29, 2023 at 5:10 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Praying, drinking, dancing. I forget how little rum it takes to loosen my limbs and let music open them into deep dips, long stretches, flashing tangles, and short springs. Apologies for how disheveled, but I feel a shift and I am joyful. I will hurt so much tomorrow. Soundtrack in thread below.
Me, white brunette trans woman, sitting down between a short set of dancing enthusiastically to some music. I am wearing a black tank top, and grinning. Me, again, a moment before setting the phone down and settling into the last few songs, easing myself toward the rest of my day. My chin-length brown hair is a mess but I am smiling as brightly as I have seen myself smile in a long time, so fuck it, beauty is not everything my loves.
October 29, 2023 at 4:58 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Tonight I watched a curving flock of clouds wash over the moon, and it was majestic to be beneath it all in the grass with a susurrus of leaves rattling in an unseasonably warm autumn breeze. With arms spread wide, what a night to go out and kiss the moon.
The moon behind a small cloud in an expanse of small clouds. I could see the moon clearly, as if through a veil, but it appears here as an illumined cloud with Jupiter to the lower left of it. Earlier, the moon shining brightly in a clear night sky above the rusty autumn crown of a tall tree. It is me, your noble alt text writer, a brunette white woman in a blue plaid shirt, smiling up at the camera. Those dark circles beneath her eyes, she should get some sleep (easier said than done some weeks). A dark sea of small white clouds that fill the frame, difficult to see in the dimness as they have not yet overtaken the moon that will make them easier to photograph. Scudding along, a wonder, easy to understand why Georgia O'Keefe was fascinated by these sorts of clouds seen from above.
October 29, 2023 at 4:56 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
A bouquet of red roses with baby's breath in a simple glass vase on an overturned vase in front of a floor shrine. The shadow cast by an unseen light, a candle perhaps, throws a large shadow of the bouquet into the corner of the room.
October 24, 2023 at 4:21 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
t4t means sometimes so many thorns and bloody wounded petaled hearts, and still, the flash of recognition, the things said to see them, to see myself again, standing in doorways, caveira my dear tutor.

("A life in rosy hues, the cold dish we serve the haters")
strange she said to see him strut before a crowd of flowers look again he is a mirror held up to you (YS) [These two stanzas are separated by the length of the page and centered, and for a moment you might not see the second stanza except as a hint at the edge of your readerly awareness, so that when you do see it, it is a flash across the page, light from one mirror to the next. Absolutely delightful.]
October 24, 2023 at 4:07 AM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Good morning and may the autumn sun bring you light and warmth, soon if not today.
A peace lily sitting in front of a window with open blinds, bands of morning light falling across its dark green leaves, some of which have browned slightly at the tip. Through the window, you can see a pine trunk and I. The distance the crown of a tree with a flash of autumn red in its crown. Because the window is not clean, the view beyond looks a bit like a faded photograph in contrast to the lily.
October 23, 2023 at 2:00 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Okay, earrings can finally be worn! Here, please admire these earrings, one of the last things from mom.
Me (brunette white woman) wearing a shirt with flowers and Saturn, smiling as I show off the left earrings, a pearl rectangle framed by silver. Me again, this time showing off the matching right earring mentioned in the previous pic.
October 22, 2023 at 11:27 PM
cassperastra.bsky.social
Good night, skyline. I hope the moon provides you some of the comfort she has provided me.
A green-leaved autumn tree at night. There are gaps in its foliage through which you can see the night sky and in the lower upper left, the moon shines through one such gap.
October 22, 2023 at 5:10 AM