I LOVE MY PHONE

Hello @pearljam.com may I please be your new drummer?

Linking up with a bunch of fellow bards to serenade you on 4th of July eve 😎

Maryland bitch

My wife is not thrilled that I’ve renamed the cats Shakespeare and Robespierre but what the heck is she gonna do about it??

These jokes you make dunking on the little drummer boy playing a drum solo for a tired family and new born baby may seem funny but just know that drummers in your life see them

Pep talk is short for pepperoni talk

👒

Here’s a cool sculpture I saw recently of Freddy Kreuger wearing glasses

I have about a half hour left on my commute so I’m doing an impromptu AMA