Chris Alix
@ceamajay.bsky.social
Put $5 million into the Mar-a-Lago vending machine and push the button for the legislation you want. Easy peasy.
January 27, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Put $5 million into the Mar-a-Lago vending machine and push the button for the legislation you want. Easy peasy.
"Feds Lying Asses Off" would have the dual advantages of being punchier and more accurate, but I guess I'll take it.
January 25, 2026 at 10:42 PM
"Feds Lying Asses Off" would have the dual advantages of being punchier and more accurate, but I guess I'll take it.
This was before the Very Stable Genius declared in this morning's Twitter On The Shitter barrage that "HE HAD A GUN, ONLY CRIMINALS CARRY GUNS ON OUR STREETS, WE NEED LAW AND ORDER." Awkward.
January 25, 2026 at 10:36 PM
This was before the Very Stable Genius declared in this morning's Twitter On The Shitter barrage that "HE HAD A GUN, ONLY CRIMINALS CARRY GUNS ON OUR STREETS, WE NEED LAW AND ORDER." Awkward.
Yeah, I'm so old I remember when Republicans thought trigger-happy Federal agents murdering civilians was a _bad_ thing.
January 25, 2026 at 10:33 PM
Yeah, I'm so old I remember when Republicans thought trigger-happy Federal agents murdering civilians was a _bad_ thing.
He only put $75 million into the vending machine for the biopic, so he's got to have the WaPo do enough shilling for the ICE Dignity Battalions to round it up to an even hundred.
January 25, 2026 at 5:37 AM
He only put $75 million into the vending machine for the biopic, so he's got to have the WaPo do enough shilling for the ICE Dignity Battalions to round it up to an even hundred.
Don't worry. Karoline Leavitt will surely offer a very credible explanation of how slavery was a hoax and anyone who says otherwise is a domestic terrorist.
January 23, 2026 at 6:16 PM
Don't worry. Karoline Leavitt will surely offer a very credible explanation of how slavery was a hoax and anyone who says otherwise is a domestic terrorist.
I think everybody is just taking advantage of the free basic tier membership at this point.
January 23, 2026 at 2:24 PM
I think everybody is just taking advantage of the free basic tier membership at this point.
What's she saying about Lakers/Clippers tonight? Come on, DOJ, help me wrap up this parlay.
January 23, 2026 at 12:17 AM
What's she saying about Lakers/Clippers tonight? Come on, DOJ, help me wrap up this parlay.
That depends. Do the billionaire owners and shareholders of the major media companies depend on him for tax cuts and regulatory favors?
January 23, 2026 at 12:11 AM
That depends. Do the billionaire owners and shareholders of the major media companies depend on him for tax cuts and regulatory favors?
He should have known better. Only the Department of Homeland Security's official Twitter account is allowed to shitpost threats.
January 23, 2026 at 12:08 AM
He should have known better. Only the Department of Homeland Security's official Twitter account is allowed to shitpost threats.
The next Democratic President should triple the size of the Supreme Court, too, but I guess he doesn't need to know that.
January 21, 2026 at 10:20 PM
The next Democratic President should triple the size of the Supreme Court, too, but I guess he doesn't need to know that.
He elevates plausible deniability to an art form.
January 21, 2026 at 3:51 PM
He elevates plausible deniability to an art form.
NYT Headline: "Trump, in Davos speech, Calls for Talks to Acquire Greenland but 'Won't use force.'"
I mean, how else might one characterize the President of the United States giving a rambling. embarrassing speech so barely coherent that it calls into question his cognitive condition?
I mean, how else might one characterize the President of the United States giving a rambling. embarrassing speech so barely coherent that it calls into question his cognitive condition?
January 21, 2026 at 3:49 PM
NYT Headline: "Trump, in Davos speech, Calls for Talks to Acquire Greenland but 'Won't use force.'"
I mean, how else might one characterize the President of the United States giving a rambling. embarrassing speech so barely coherent that it calls into question his cognitive condition?
I mean, how else might one characterize the President of the United States giving a rambling. embarrassing speech so barely coherent that it calls into question his cognitive condition?
AP had to go with "FACT FOCUS: Trump highlights familiar false claims as he reviews his first year back in office" as the headline, and use the word "falsehood" in the article twice, to avoid using the L-word.
January 21, 2026 at 1:09 PM
AP had to go with "FACT FOCUS: Trump highlights familiar false claims as he reviews his first year back in office" as the headline, and use the word "falsehood" in the article twice, to avoid using the L-word.
If the House and Senate Democrats were organized enough to have a motto, I can think of none more accurate or succinct than "but nah."
January 19, 2026 at 1:49 AM
If the House and Senate Democrats were organized enough to have a motto, I can think of none more accurate or succinct than "but nah."
Put the money in the vending machine, push the "pardon" button. Easy, peasy.
January 17, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Put the money in the vending machine, push the "pardon" button. Easy, peasy.
And, if memory serves, the original plan was trying to sell New Orleans. At some point things progressed to "Oh, yeah, I guess we can throw in the rest of this crap, too."
January 17, 2026 at 9:24 PM
And, if memory serves, the original plan was trying to sell New Orleans. At some point things progressed to "Oh, yeah, I guess we can throw in the rest of this crap, too."
Chuck Schumer's wrist is going to get tired writing so many strongly worded letters.
January 16, 2026 at 11:24 PM
Chuck Schumer's wrist is going to get tired writing so many strongly worded letters.
The Mar-a-Lago vending machine never disappoints.
January 16, 2026 at 10:55 PM
The Mar-a-Lago vending machine never disappoints.
Thank you for using the Mar-a-Lago vending machine. Come again soon!
January 16, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Thank you for using the Mar-a-Lago vending machine. Come again soon!
That was my assumption as well.
January 16, 2026 at 4:21 PM
That was my assumption as well.
If ICE were acting like qualified professionals and not Trump's Dignity Battalions, that would de-escalate the situation.
January 15, 2026 at 8:43 PM
If ICE were acting like qualified professionals and not Trump's Dignity Battalions, that would de-escalate the situation.
The Nobel committee awarded him a Whiny Little Bitch Prize?
January 15, 2026 at 8:38 PM
The Nobel committee awarded him a Whiny Little Bitch Prize?
A strongly worded letter, mind you.
January 15, 2026 at 5:13 PM
A strongly worded letter, mind you.