Charlie
@charnardthegreat.bsky.social
Comedian. Cat dad. Third thing.
Do you think the "Thank You for Sunshine" kid knows that I can't get through that song without sobbing
September 17, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Do you think the "Thank You for Sunshine" kid knows that I can't get through that song without sobbing
My mom's brother John is asking me to assassinate a pony. Classic case of helping my Uncle Jack "off" a horse
September 5, 2025 at 3:25 PM
My mom's brother John is asking me to assassinate a pony. Classic case of helping my Uncle Jack "off" a horse
I'm a bass-ifist. I'm anti-violins.
August 21, 2025 at 5:53 PM
I'm a bass-ifist. I'm anti-violins.
What do you think Fred Flinstone's condoms are made of? Rock? Sabre tooth tiger skin? Fruity Pebbles?
August 13, 2025 at 4:41 PM
What do you think Fred Flinstone's condoms are made of? Rock? Sabre tooth tiger skin? Fruity Pebbles?
Tall people get to see everyone at a MySpace angle, and I think that's why short people are mad
July 31, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Tall people get to see everyone at a MySpace angle, and I think that's why short people are mad
Appreciate the storytelling device of what I call the Royal You (collective plural pronoun). In a video about aquatic animals without gills: "If you're small enough, you can do gas exchange right through your body wall." As if either 1.I can choose to be that small, or 2.those lil guys are watching
July 30, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Appreciate the storytelling device of what I call the Royal You (collective plural pronoun). In a video about aquatic animals without gills: "If you're small enough, you can do gas exchange right through your body wall." As if either 1.I can choose to be that small, or 2.those lil guys are watching
Mom says it's my turn to be spartacus
July 5, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Mom says it's my turn to be spartacus
I wish I could send my therapist memes
June 28, 2025 at 7:42 AM
I wish I could send my therapist memes
To the tune of Blackbird by the Beatles:
Redwing blackbird wanna fight
Swooping at my head, it's on sight
What the fuck
I wasn't trying to eat you but now I fucken might
Redwing blackbird wanna fight
Swooping at my head, it's on sight
What the fuck
I wasn't trying to eat you but now I fucken might
June 6, 2025 at 12:46 PM
To the tune of Blackbird by the Beatles:
Redwing blackbird wanna fight
Swooping at my head, it's on sight
What the fuck
I wasn't trying to eat you but now I fucken might
Redwing blackbird wanna fight
Swooping at my head, it's on sight
What the fuck
I wasn't trying to eat you but now I fucken might
If Burger King offered me a job I'd say "thank you for the whoppertunity"
June 3, 2025 at 2:57 AM
If Burger King offered me a job I'd say "thank you for the whoppertunity"
Autocorrect is getting way overzealous. It replaced "be" with "he" and I ended up with "I can't he the only one enjoying a good railing sesh" and now I just sound silly
June 2, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Autocorrect is getting way overzealous. It replaced "be" with "he" and I ended up with "I can't he the only one enjoying a good railing sesh" and now I just sound silly
My favorite generational gap is what "out of pocket" means. To the Olds, it's used for out of office, unavailable. To the Youths, it's acting out of line or irrational. Took off work for my birthday, so both feel right
June 2, 2025 at 3:06 PM
My favorite generational gap is what "out of pocket" means. To the Olds, it's used for out of office, unavailable. To the Youths, it's acting out of line or irrational. Took off work for my birthday, so both feel right
I genuinely think they used to make stuff out of hard plastic with sharp edges just to keep people from putting it in thsemselves
May 16, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I genuinely think they used to make stuff out of hard plastic with sharp edges just to keep people from putting it in thsemselves
Call me strange, y'all can come get some
May 16, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Call me strange, y'all can come get some
Gonna start an agency of OnlyFans models as hit men, call it Wackers
May 9, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Gonna start an agency of OnlyFans models as hit men, call it Wackers
I only write fanfics that involve camping, because every ship needs a sex tent
April 30, 2025 at 4:11 PM
I only write fanfics that involve camping, because every ship needs a sex tent
What's a swinger's favorite pastry?
Pineapple turnover
Pineapple turnover
April 30, 2025 at 1:51 PM
What's a swinger's favorite pastry?
Pineapple turnover
Pineapple turnover
"How would others describe you?"
Oh, you mean the people I'm always worried secretly hate me?
Oh, you mean the people I'm always worried secretly hate me?
April 23, 2025 at 7:03 PM
"How would others describe you?"
Oh, you mean the people I'm always worried secretly hate me?
Oh, you mean the people I'm always worried secretly hate me?
Eggplant parmesean? Oh, you mean 🍆🧀
April 20, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Eggplant parmesean? Oh, you mean 🍆🧀
How I'm doing: realized my drink was getting warm, went to plug it in to charge it
April 16, 2025 at 12:40 PM
How I'm doing: realized my drink was getting warm, went to plug it in to charge it
"Can't believe I blew fifty bucks in there" I say, leaving the fur con
April 10, 2025 at 10:36 PM
"Can't believe I blew fifty bucks in there" I say, leaving the fur con
What're all these spiders spiding?
March 24, 2025 at 6:54 PM
What're all these spiders spiding?
Roses are red
I'm pansexual, luv
When filling out my sexuality
I checked "all the above"
I'm pansexual, luv
When filling out my sexuality
I checked "all the above"
February 16, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Roses are red
I'm pansexual, luv
When filling out my sexuality
I checked "all the above"
I'm pansexual, luv
When filling out my sexuality
I checked "all the above"