how can you tell when to stop? when one has been pushed too far, pushed into their corner. forced to face the wall. the same hand that covers the saddened expression being the same one pointing to hide. an argument with a foul person, the border of the mirror stands out rather than the reflection.

the pressing of a heat source against the sturdy cold figure. invisible marks peppered against scar tissue. such sweet and heavy odors mixed. contrasting pheromones. perspiration and lust dripping between two dancing figures. intertwined tightly. animalistic dominance lingers over me.

you were alone, in these final moments you had no one. two strikes, then you’ll pass, that was your third. scaled innocence lining you like a thin sheet from the top to bottom. nothing could of prepared you for this. this was not your fate. the sheet was stripped from your skin. an undeserving end.

waves. its all in waves. so fluid. unpredictable. the end of the world for me, this uncertainty. acid rain, it feels like. deteriorating my being. i remain the only wilted flower in the late spring. an aged tree that fails to grow. an outlet with no wires. i am the failures i fear.

my hands are all bruised and blistered
from digging my own route. i lie down into the hole i swore i covered years ago. where i find comfort in the cold dirt once again. as the cold dirt i will become. bugs finding the same comfort within my skull in due time. given some purpose even after death.

ripped away from my own helmet. clung to my chest, like a terrified animal. never once did it fit on my head. perhaps it was not supposed to be mine. a thief i am. hell i will burn in.

so i will lay each night, clinging to the cloth. heavy eyelids, pleading to be shut. heavier heart, begs to be opened. clinging to the fantasized cloth entangling its false fingers between mine. dream of the me that i can never be to you. dreaming of the you that i could never let in. forever&never

a scalding hot sting. blistering skin. immediately cauterizing, healing. through the initial immense pain, it simultaneously prevents itself from getting worse. i stare at these scars, older wounds, taking time to seal them with the Iron Fire. this pain is like no other, it is better than infection.

a sigh that echoes back at me. reverberating due to the volume, or is someone else really there?

is it the lack of, that leaves you craving more? the damage being dealt, that wishes you were there to heal it? your intentions cut clean through, like piano wire to wet clay. you molded this, now you neglect it? fine. i’ll create my own piece, one out of spite. one made from our unspoken rage.

plaguing my mind the way spores branch out. hearing your heartbeat over a hundred miles away, shaking my core like an earthquake. staring up at the stars under you, and i. wondering if you will ever know. wondering if you have ever felt. wishing i could be the dirt and soil that takes in your words.

sculpt me, break me down into nothing. do whatever if that means i can feel the destruction within that heart

you are my person.

heaps of nothing. yet it is everything.

goodnight

repeat

subtle yellow and blue