My only note is that snakes are venomous, not poisonous...

Animals are venomous.
Plants are poisonous.

The rest of the video is on point.

Most men don't film and publish their mid-life crises for all the world to watch... It's possible (as a working theory only) that most men aren't narcissistic douche-bags either... Doubtful... but still possible...

I would get wet for a man who got wet for me...

You can only get brain damage from a bullet to your head if there's a brain in your head...

Probably get good odds on the divorce stakes...

AND played chicken on the highway with semi-trailers...

This looks like it could be really fun.

WTF? Straight to food jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect a fucking thing on your way out the door... JFC! Who murders food like that?

Move to the jungle and you can take all the holidays you want... Just sayin...

Whoever did that needs to be spanked...

And drank water from the garden hose and made go-carts out of old fruit crates...

I would get lost in there. Even search parties would never find me curled up in a hidey hole with a pile of all the best books...

Spring is in the air??? Wait...