Highly Relevant SIU For C/OMEDIANS
@chelseaonik.bsky.social
I sometimes post satirically but this bio is fact. I work at Jewel-Osco. I was deplatformed by Ben Collins (reporter) + Jeff Lawson (billionaire) who’s exercising his ambitions as a political backer through Kat Abughazaleh
Pinned
ACAB includes chief executive officers
You know how you are so smart, but such a ditz sometimes — top computer scientists, quantum physicists and mathematicians are like that too. So the world may melt.
February 18, 2026 at 6:18 AM
You know how you are so smart, but such a ditz sometimes — top computer scientists, quantum physicists and mathematicians are like that too. So the world may melt.
Feel a breakdown. Four players and two decks of cards.
February 18, 2026 at 6:13 AM
Feel a breakdown. Four players and two decks of cards.
Dying of poverty looks different with different degrees of hope, but it’s still dying of poverty
February 18, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Dying of poverty looks different with different degrees of hope, but it’s still dying of poverty
Dying of poverty looks different with different enemies, but it’s still dying of poverty
February 18, 2026 at 3:02 AM
Dying of poverty looks different with different enemies, but it’s still dying of poverty
Dying of poverty looks different in different tax brackets, but it’s still dying of poverty
February 18, 2026 at 2:59 AM
Dying of poverty looks different in different tax brackets, but it’s still dying of poverty
Dying of poverty looks different in different countries, but it’s still dying of poverty
February 18, 2026 at 2:53 AM
Dying of poverty looks different in different countries, but it’s still dying of poverty
To complete the tribute Reddit needs to find me this in a tech assigned partner
February 18, 2026 at 12:17 AM
To complete the tribute Reddit needs to find me this in a tech assigned partner
Someone out there is a real one. Thanks for doing a stranger a solid.
February 18, 2026 at 12:04 AM
Someone out there is a real one. Thanks for doing a stranger a solid.
What we call human nature is actually human habit
February 17, 2026 at 2:39 PM
What we call human nature is actually human habit
More memories, I told him he couldn’t squish cake into my face so he just squashed it, period.
February 17, 2026 at 1:55 PM
More memories, I told him he couldn’t squish cake into my face so he just squashed it, period.
How to go from officious to office in one easy step…
February 17, 2026 at 1:12 PM
How to go from officious to office in one easy step…
I would LOVE to know the story of how Kat went from “uninsured” “unemployed” American to in the palm of a billionaire
February 17, 2026 at 1:08 PM
I would LOVE to know the story of how Kat went from “uninsured” “unemployed” American to in the palm of a billionaire
It would be wild if after the primaries Kat released a straight to camera that was “let me tell you all how easy it is to get wrapped up with a billionaire”
February 17, 2026 at 1:07 PM
It would be wild if after the primaries Kat released a straight to camera that was “let me tell you all how easy it is to get wrapped up with a billionaire”
I may have found a place to live but I’d have to put down my cat. Ben, cat killer.
February 17, 2026 at 6:26 AM
I may have found a place to live but I’d have to put down my cat. Ben, cat killer.
Don’t tell me it’s not personal to me. Bryce and I got married at Coachella. The StubHub fees were such a large part of our nuptials.
February 16, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Don’t tell me it’s not personal to me. Bryce and I got married at Coachella. The StubHub fees were such a large part of our nuptials.
Leave room for the Holy Ghost (Peter Thiel)
February 16, 2026 at 8:21 PM
Leave room for the Holy Ghost (Peter Thiel)
The grassroots aren’t taking
February 16, 2026 at 7:48 PM
The grassroots aren’t taking
I just saw one graphic that put StubHub at a 33% approval rating… Trump has a 36% approval rating…
Kat what are you honestly thinking? That he’s a goo enough billionaire to make people forget you promised to fight ALL billionaires?
Kat what are you honestly thinking? That he’s a goo enough billionaire to make people forget you promised to fight ALL billionaires?
February 16, 2026 at 7:29 PM
I just saw one graphic that put StubHub at a 33% approval rating… Trump has a 36% approval rating…
Kat what are you honestly thinking? That he’s a goo enough billionaire to make people forget you promised to fight ALL billionaires?
Kat what are you honestly thinking? That he’s a goo enough billionaire to make people forget you promised to fight ALL billionaires?
Can you light a cigarette off the laser?
February 16, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Can you light a cigarette off the laser?
Who even gets into politics when they made part of their fortune in StubHub? You stand between people and live music. You’re that 7 foot guy in a cowboy hat in the front row —- if we found out that guy was a billionaire trying to get into politics.
February 16, 2026 at 7:07 PM
Who even gets into politics when they made part of their fortune in StubHub? You stand between people and live music. You’re that 7 foot guy in a cowboy hat in the front row —- if we found out that guy was a billionaire trying to get into politics.
Kat’s like not a bad billionaire, just the STUBHUB guy
February 16, 2026 at 6:59 PM
Kat’s like not a bad billionaire, just the STUBHUB guy
Imagine being rich for spam marketing texts and freaking StubHub. I’m so happy and proud of Jeff for fusion energy. He needs a public perception wipe.
February 16, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Imagine being rich for spam marketing texts and freaking StubHub. I’m so happy and proud of Jeff for fusion energy. He needs a public perception wipe.
Imagine Vitalik make an algorithm that sorted through all the dating app profiles and it landed on “I have constant diarrhea and I worked for The Onion… is ClickHole okay?” and it pinged it as a match
February 16, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Imagine Vitalik make an algorithm that sorted through all the dating app profiles and it landed on “I have constant diarrhea and I worked for The Onion… is ClickHole okay?” and it pinged it as a match
Star Search over
February 16, 2026 at 5:47 PM
Star Search over
“What separates us from the machines is irony.”
“No, it is our ability tk laugh at irony.”
“We call it…”
Together: “Mets”
“No, it is our ability tk laugh at irony.”
“We call it…”
Together: “Mets”
February 16, 2026 at 3:16 AM
“What separates us from the machines is irony.”
“No, it is our ability tk laugh at irony.”
“We call it…”
Together: “Mets”
“No, it is our ability tk laugh at irony.”
“We call it…”
Together: “Mets”