Highly Relevant SIU For C/OMEDIANS
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chelseaonik.bsky.social
Highly Relevant SIU For C/OMEDIANS
@chelseaonik.bsky.social
I sometimes post satirically but this bio is fact. I work at Jewel-Osco. I was deplatformed by Ben Collins (reporter) + Jeff Lawson (billionaire) who’s exercising his ambitions as a political backer through Kat Abughazaleh
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ACAB includes chief executive officers
You know how you are so smart, but such a ditz sometimes — top computer scientists, quantum physicists and mathematicians are like that too. So the world may melt.
February 18, 2026 at 6:18 AM
Feel a breakdown. Four players and two decks of cards.
February 18, 2026 at 6:13 AM
Dying of poverty looks different with different degrees of hope, but it’s still dying of poverty
February 18, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Dying of poverty looks different with different enemies, but it’s still dying of poverty
February 18, 2026 at 3:02 AM
Dying of poverty looks different in different tax brackets, but it’s still dying of poverty
February 18, 2026 at 2:59 AM
Dying of poverty looks different in different countries, but it’s still dying of poverty
February 18, 2026 at 2:53 AM
To complete the tribute Reddit needs to find me this in a tech assigned partner
February 18, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Someone out there is a real one. Thanks for doing a stranger a solid.
February 18, 2026 at 12:04 AM
What we call human nature is actually human habit
February 17, 2026 at 2:39 PM
More memories, I told him he couldn’t squish cake into my face so he just squashed it, period.
February 17, 2026 at 1:55 PM
How to go from officious to office in one easy step…
February 17, 2026 at 1:12 PM
I would LOVE to know the story of how Kat went from “uninsured” “unemployed” American to in the palm of a billionaire
February 17, 2026 at 1:08 PM
It would be wild if after the primaries Kat released a straight to camera that was “let me tell you all how easy it is to get wrapped up with a billionaire”
February 17, 2026 at 1:07 PM
I may have found a place to live but I’d have to put down my cat. Ben, cat killer.
February 17, 2026 at 6:26 AM
Don’t tell me it’s not personal to me. Bryce and I got married at Coachella. The StubHub fees were such a large part of our nuptials.
February 16, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Leave room for the Holy Ghost (Peter Thiel)
February 16, 2026 at 8:21 PM
The grassroots aren’t taking
February 16, 2026 at 7:48 PM
I just saw one graphic that put StubHub at a 33% approval rating… Trump has a 36% approval rating…

Kat what are you honestly thinking? That he’s a goo enough billionaire to make people forget you promised to fight ALL billionaires?
February 16, 2026 at 7:29 PM
Can you light a cigarette off the laser?
February 16, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Who even gets into politics when they made part of their fortune in StubHub? You stand between people and live music. You’re that 7 foot guy in a cowboy hat in the front row —- if we found out that guy was a billionaire trying to get into politics.
February 16, 2026 at 7:07 PM
Kat’s like not a bad billionaire, just the STUBHUB guy
February 16, 2026 at 6:59 PM
Imagine being rich for spam marketing texts and freaking StubHub. I’m so happy and proud of Jeff for fusion energy. He needs a public perception wipe.
February 16, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Imagine Vitalik make an algorithm that sorted through all the dating app profiles and it landed on “I have constant diarrhea and I worked for The Onion… is ClickHole okay?” and it pinged it as a match
February 16, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Star Search over
February 16, 2026 at 5:47 PM
“What separates us from the machines is irony.”

“No, it is our ability tk laugh at irony.”

“We call it…”

Together: “Mets”
February 16, 2026 at 3:16 AM