I'm OK Boomer, You're OK Boomer.
@chrisdolancomedy.bsky.social
Writer. Comic. Borderline boomer.
Here to make jokes and not much else.
Oscar winner Kate Winslet touched me multiple times but never spoke a word to me. True story.
Here to make jokes and not much else.
Oscar winner Kate Winslet touched me multiple times but never spoke a word to me. True story.
Florida raised the legal age for smoking & vaping to 21, angering thousands of 20-year-old Florida high school students.
May 18, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Florida raised the legal age for smoking & vaping to 21, angering thousands of 20-year-old Florida high school students.
Trump is just frustrated because Melania hasn't wrapped her legs 'round his velvet rims or strapped her hands across his engines in 20 years.
May 16, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Trump is just frustrated because Melania hasn't wrapped her legs 'round his velvet rims or strapped her hands across his engines in 20 years.
When the Adderall lets you down.
April 26, 2025 at 10:01 PM
When the Adderall lets you down.
Tesla profits drop 71%.
They're calling it the Electric Slide.
They're calling it the Electric Slide.
April 22, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Tesla profits drop 71%.
They're calling it the Electric Slide.
They're calling it the Electric Slide.
Somebody out there gets 4 servings from a pint of Ben & Jerry's.
Somebody. Not me.
Somebody. Not me.
April 21, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Somebody out there gets 4 servings from a pint of Ben & Jerry's.
Somebody. Not me.
Somebody. Not me.
Trump thinks iPhones should be made in America. Apple says it would take years to build factories, and even longer to find thousands of Kentucky 12-year-olds smart enough to work in them.
April 8, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Trump thinks iPhones should be made in America. Apple says it would take years to build factories, and even longer to find thousands of Kentucky 12-year-olds smart enough to work in them.
Don't ask me where he finds the time for senior club golf tournaments in-between bodybuilding competitions
April 6, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Don't ask me where he finds the time for senior club golf tournaments in-between bodybuilding competitions
Saw 'Accountant 2' ... After Accountant 1 didn't want to cheat on my tax return!!
April 5, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Saw 'Accountant 2' ... After Accountant 1 didn't want to cheat on my tax return!!
Hooters filed for Chapter 36D bankruptcy.
April 1, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Hooters filed for Chapter 36D bankruptcy.
March 31, 2025 at 5:01 PM
It's a TV show where Google CEO Sundar Pichai discusses my Incognito Mode browser history and Elon Musk shares Social Security numbers
March 30, 2025 at 4:31 PM
It's a TV show where Google CEO Sundar Pichai discusses my Incognito Mode browser history and Elon Musk shares Social Security numbers
Video killed the radio star.
Now it needs to do something about the podcasters.
Now it needs to do something about the podcasters.
March 28, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Video killed the radio star.
Now it needs to do something about the podcasters.
Now it needs to do something about the podcasters.
Happy Opening Day to Major League Baseball and Hallmark Christmas Movie Season
March 27, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Happy Opening Day to Major League Baseball and Hallmark Christmas Movie Season
I was so broke in college I couldn't afford PBR. I had to drink PHM* . Which was better than drinking PP** .
*Pabst Honorable Mention
**Pabst Participant
*Pabst Honorable Mention
**Pabst Participant
March 23, 2025 at 7:28 PM
I was so broke in college I couldn't afford PBR. I had to drink PHM* . Which was better than drinking PP** .
*Pabst Honorable Mention
**Pabst Participant
*Pabst Honorable Mention
**Pabst Participant
Starbucks ordered to pay $50 million to a man after his genitals were scalded by hot tea.
Starbucks plans to appeal, claiming it wasn't his drink, since Scalded Female Genitals was written on the cup.
Starbucks plans to appeal, claiming it wasn't his drink, since Scalded Female Genitals was written on the cup.
March 21, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Starbucks ordered to pay $50 million to a man after his genitals were scalded by hot tea.
Starbucks plans to appeal, claiming it wasn't his drink, since Scalded Female Genitals was written on the cup.
Starbucks plans to appeal, claiming it wasn't his drink, since Scalded Female Genitals was written on the cup.
Writing a 'Come From Away' sequel where Americans are stuck in Newfoundland after a 2025 terrorist attack in the U.S.
It's called 'Get The F**k Out Of Our Country Immediately Or We Throw You in Jail You MAGA Assholes'
It's called 'Get The F**k Out Of Our Country Immediately Or We Throw You in Jail You MAGA Assholes'
March 19, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Writing a 'Come From Away' sequel where Americans are stuck in Newfoundland after a 2025 terrorist attack in the U.S.
It's called 'Get The F**k Out Of Our Country Immediately Or We Throw You in Jail You MAGA Assholes'
It's called 'Get The F**k Out Of Our Country Immediately Or We Throw You in Jail You MAGA Assholes'
"My high school nickname was 'The Telemarketer..'"
"Cause you were always closing the deal?"
"No because every girl asked to be on my Do Not Call list."
"Cause you were always closing the deal?"
"No because every girl asked to be on my Do Not Call list."
March 11, 2025 at 11:59 PM
"My high school nickname was 'The Telemarketer..'"
"Cause you were always closing the deal?"
"No because every girl asked to be on my Do Not Call list."
"Cause you were always closing the deal?"
"No because every girl asked to be on my Do Not Call list."
I am so pale, when I visited Hawai'i they told me my local name was Mela'a noma'a
March 8, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I am so pale, when I visited Hawai'i they told me my local name was Mela'a noma'a
Watching 'A League Of Their Own'....when Betty Spaghetti finds out her husband died.
RIP Sgt Spaghetti.
Join my mailing list for more shitty jokes about 32-year-old movies
RIP Sgt Spaghetti.
Join my mailing list for more shitty jokes about 32-year-old movies
March 8, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Watching 'A League Of Their Own'....when Betty Spaghetti finds out her husband died.
RIP Sgt Spaghetti.
Join my mailing list for more shitty jokes about 32-year-old movies
RIP Sgt Spaghetti.
Join my mailing list for more shitty jokes about 32-year-old movies
Lent is for suckers.
Don't give up a thing.
Cheeseburgers taste better on Fridays.
Don't give up a thing.
Cheeseburgers taste better on Fridays.
March 6, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Lent is for suckers.
Don't give up a thing.
Cheeseburgers taste better on Fridays.
Don't give up a thing.
Cheeseburgers taste better on Fridays.
Tesla sales are dropping rapidly.
And some hoodlums really did a number on my SpaceX rocket in the driveway.
And some hoodlums really did a number on my SpaceX rocket in the driveway.
March 6, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Tesla sales are dropping rapidly.
And some hoodlums really did a number on my SpaceX rocket in the driveway.
And some hoodlums really did a number on my SpaceX rocket in the driveway.
I kept saying my toilet was haunted.
No one believed me.
No one believed me.
Do You Have 'Ghost Poops'? Here's What That Says About Your Health.
Pay attention before you flush the toilet.
www.huffpost.com
March 5, 2025 at 8:32 PM
I kept saying my toilet was haunted.
No one believed me.
No one believed me.
If there's anyone out there living in the Northeast corner of New York State...vote for this guy. ❤️
I’m the dairy farmer running in the special election to replace Elise Stefanik in New York’s 21st Congressional District.
Can you repost this, give me a follow, and help spread the word?
Can you repost this, give me a follow, and help spread the word?
March 4, 2025 at 2:56 PM
If there's anyone out there living in the Northeast corner of New York State...vote for this guy. ❤️
"Humor fails when it lies" says Elon Musk...who apparently believes the ventriloquist's dummy is really talking
March 4, 2025 at 2:54 PM
"Humor fails when it lies" says Elon Musk...who apparently believes the ventriloquist's dummy is really talking
I love vaccines. I read this year's flu shot was only 25% effective against the predominant strain, so I got 4 of them.
(An old joke of mine.)
(An old joke of mine.)
March 3, 2025 at 3:04 PM
I love vaccines. I read this year's flu shot was only 25% effective against the predominant strain, so I got 4 of them.
(An old joke of mine.)
(An old joke of mine.)