Crasstopher
@chrisharris.bsky.social
Limerence-prone pluviophile who is a reporter, writer, producer, storyteller, and all-around great guy
chrshrrs.com
chrshrrs.com
Nothing makes you feel your age quite like bucketseats
October 10, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Nothing makes you feel your age quite like bucketseats
I wanna see a "Twins" remake with Shaq and Cee-Lo
October 1, 2025 at 8:45 PM
I wanna see a "Twins" remake with Shaq and Cee-Lo
The season is upon us
September 23, 2025 at 7:02 PM
The season is upon us
ABC just bending over and pulling them cheeks apart
September 18, 2025 at 5:56 PM
ABC just bending over and pulling them cheeks apart
The couch defiler killed the Pope. I don't know how, but it seems obvious.
April 21, 2025 at 1:00 PM
The couch defiler killed the Pope. I don't know how, but it seems obvious.
Getting a Hollywood star is sort of Iike being named to a Who's Who list.
February 20, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Getting a Hollywood star is sort of Iike being named to a Who's Who list.
I feel like I'd be friends with whoever handles the music played on Yellowjackets.
February 15, 2025 at 1:57 AM
I feel like I'd be friends with whoever handles the music played on Yellowjackets.
Why does Kanye want everyone to see his lady naked? I seriously can't understand that shit. She's got Stockholm Syndrome, me thinks.
February 3, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Why does Kanye want everyone to see his lady naked? I seriously can't understand that shit. She's got Stockholm Syndrome, me thinks.
Mr. Beast gives me douche chills
January 31, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Mr. Beast gives me douche chills
How is Warped Tour still a thing?
January 27, 2025 at 8:19 PM
How is Warped Tour still a thing?
I can't until he tries to change the Pacific to the American Ocean.
January 24, 2025 at 9:40 PM
I can't until he tries to change the Pacific to the American Ocean.
Mama Musk needs to shut her fucking yapper.
January 12, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Mama Musk needs to shut her fucking yapper.
We're unable to take care of our own people, now you wanna add Canadians to the mix?
January 8, 2025 at 2:36 PM
We're unable to take care of our own people, now you wanna add Canadians to the mix?
$15 million is the price you pay when you hire football players and political insiders as news people.
January 7, 2025 at 9:14 PM
$15 million is the price you pay when you hire football players and political insiders as news people.
I highly recommend "Takedown with Chris Hansen." The pedos immediately almost always recognize him and try to bolt. Cops cuff said perv, and Hansen steps in to "go over the chat logs." As he does, these dudes either say nothing or tell him to get fucked before demanding they be brought to jail.
January 6, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I highly recommend "Takedown with Chris Hansen." The pedos immediately almost always recognize him and try to bolt. Cops cuff said perv, and Hansen steps in to "go over the chat logs." As he does, these dudes either say nothing or tell him to get fucked before demanding they be brought to jail.
Never trust a catless bodega
January 6, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Never trust a catless bodega
I get why certain folks wanted congestion pricing, but these public celebrations are a bit much.
January 6, 2025 at 1:15 PM
I get why certain folks wanted congestion pricing, but these public celebrations are a bit much.
No true fan wants a Spaceballs sequel. Only overrated dicks who want an easy cash grab.
January 6, 2025 at 12:54 AM
No true fan wants a Spaceballs sequel. Only overrated dicks who want an easy cash grab.
Were CEOs under the misguided notion they were beloved?
December 23, 2024 at 6:16 AM
Were CEOs under the misguided notion they were beloved?
Unalive isn't a verb. It's not even a word. Stop using it.
December 22, 2024 at 4:06 PM
Unalive isn't a verb. It's not even a word. Stop using it.
The older I get, the less amused I am by LifeAlert commercials.
December 21, 2024 at 1:01 PM
The older I get, the less amused I am by LifeAlert commercials.
You shouldn't have a library named after you if you possess the reading comprehension of a dehydrated mollusk.
December 16, 2024 at 4:04 PM
You shouldn't have a library named after you if you possess the reading comprehension of a dehydrated mollusk.
The drones are searching for the best pork roll.
December 12, 2024 at 5:14 PM
The drones are searching for the best pork roll.
I wonder if he was there for a McRib.
December 10, 2024 at 2:22 AM
I wonder if he was there for a McRib.
I never thought I could hate my beloved Cinnamon Toast Crunch, yet here we are.
December 10, 2024 at 2:11 AM
I never thought I could hate my beloved Cinnamon Toast Crunch, yet here we are.