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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood
@chrisoldwood.bsky.social
290 followers 170 following 870 posts
skeet = reinterpret_cast(life)
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · Oct 21
#Introduction

@chrisoldwood = IT ∩ Dad Jokes

Author of far more than 97 puns every programmer should know…

Sets from Lightning talks:

[2016] Continuous Delivery & Becoming a Bitter Programmer
chrisoldwood.blogspot.com/2016/04/stan...

[2017] Wit Limits
chrisoldwood.blogspot.com/2017/12/wit-...
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Reposted by Chris Oldwood
hackkitten.bsky.social
Maya Posch @hackkitten.bsky.social · 1d
"If art is emotional nutrition, then AI art is like eating styrofoam."
theoatmeal.bsky.social
The Oatmeal @theoatmeal.bsky.social · 1d
Let’s talk about AI art.

theoatmeal.com/comics/ai_art
A cartoonist's review of AI art - The Oatmeal
This is a comic about AI art.
theoatmeal.com
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Reposted by Chris Oldwood
nor.dev
nor(DEV): Norfolk Developers @nor.dev · 1d
Just over two weeks left to join us on stage at nor(DEV): con 2026 as our Call for Papers closes on October 24th!

Speaking is more than just a slot on the schedule; it's an opportunity to become part of a welcoming and inclusive community!

Goto nor.dev/cfp to apply today!
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 1d
I coined AI;DC — I should have gone with DR :o).

bsky.app/profile/chri...
chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · May 12
AI;DC is the new TL;DR…

*Artificial Intelligence; Didn’t Check
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 1d
Listening back to yourself. I’ve barely managed to watch more than a few minutes of my talks, even though I know I should to be more aware of my shortcomings :o).
chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 2d
You’re a braver man than me :o).
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Reposted by Chris Oldwood
kevlin.bsky.social
Kevlin Henney @kevlin.bsky.social · 2d
On the blog: Immutable Value

A pattern for keeping value objects simple and free of change, with added historical context and commentary

kevlinhenney.medium.com/immutable-va...
Immutable Value
A pattern for keeping value objects simple and free of change
kevlinhenney.medium.com
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 3d
The surprising thing about people using their phone in a sauna is not that they can’t leave their device alone for 10 minutes but that it still functions correctly in 90 °C heat.
chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 3d
Everything physical I’ve ever tried to fix…
The Obi-Wan Kenobi ghost meme with the text “it’s more gaffer tape now than machine”.
Reposted by Chris Oldwood
markdalgarno.bsky.social
Mark Dalgarno @markdalgarno.bsky.social · 4d
If you read one thing about AI this weekend, make it this post from Duncan Brown - mechanicalsurvival.com/blog/team-dy...
Team dynamics after AI
Small giants and real giants
mechanicalsurvival.com
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 4d
Non-Linear Regretion: the sudden realisation that AI based tools are totally flawed and you’ve been wasting your time trying to get them to do things they’ll never be capable of despite what the marketing teams say.
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 5d
Sadly the varnish backend is not doing exactly what it says on the tin.

(I’ll fetch my coat — both the first and second one…)
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 5d
Currently working on a portable version of a storage area network for my motorhome that I can use to store all my crap. Working title is ELSAN…
chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 6d
After watching this talk about Project Valhalla I'm wondering if Java will finally get parity with .Net around efficient handling of value types, or will it be better or worse than in the .Net world when it finally appears?

youtu.be/Dhn-JgZaBWo
Valhalla - Java's Epic Refactor
YouTube video by Java
youtu.be
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 7d
Oops, was that the baby you just threw out with the bath water…
A tweet suggesting you no longer need to write unit tests as it slows vibe coding down.
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 7d
This is what happens when you let enterprise developers write your signs…

[2023] Afterwood - Metaphors

accu.org/journals/ove...
A sign on a white van with an icon of an old fashioned camera and the text “This vehicle is fitted with image recording technology”.
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 8d
What about a WHERE clause?
chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 8d
Blimey, the people of this little Cornish village are a stickler for the rules — every answer was reinforced with “and no exceptions!”

:P
A road sign for the Cornish village of Catchall.
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Reposted by Chris Oldwood
kevlin.bsky.social
Kevlin Henney @kevlin.bsky.social · 8d
Blogged: Step Back

"Instead of trying harder, do the opposite. Take a break. Properly. Don't just switch to another screen to browse memes, graze cat pics, answer your email or catch up with notifications, messages and socials."

kevlinhenney.medium.com/step-back-39...
Step Back
Take a break to solve a problem
kevlinhenney.medium.com
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 18d
Got to see my eldest give his first ever conference talk at Pycon UK yesterday. They grow-up so fast :o).

youtu.be/4rrsG-luNTk?...
PYCON UK 2025: Help to self help Streamlining processes with Slack and Python, Isaac Oldwood
YouTube video by PyCon UK
youtu.be
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 20d
Based on last year I set my swimming distance goal for 2025 to 100 miles, but it seems I’ve already reached that. Looks like it’s not just my ability to estimate software delivery that is impaired :o).
A screenshot of the Strava app goals showing a swimming goal of 176,000 yards being reached.
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 20d
You can always tell when a telecoms engineer is running a marathon because they really struggle with the last mile…
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 22d
If you're looking for a career where self improvement is taken seriously, you should get into typography, it's character building…
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 23d
I always thought JetBrains missed a trick not stylising their C++ IDE as "CLi-ion” because then they could say it comes with battteries included…
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 23d
I decided it was time to start using a password management system so I’m now using yellow Post-its for personal accounts, orange Post-its for on-prem work accounts, pink for cloud provider accounts, and blue for my social media accounts.
A selection of post-it notes in different colours.
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chrisoldwood.bsky.social
Chris Oldwood @chrisoldwood.bsky.social · 25d
I took a trip to the tip today and had a rummage through the crate of books, on the off chance, and found a load of newish programming books. Okay, so a few are clearly outdated / of dubious value but some were on my wish-list 🙌.
A bunch of programming books on a wooden table.
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