Taking applications for a stalker girl. HMU if you're insane

"please be interested in me in any sort of fashion, please" asks woman who posts constantly about how high maintenance and mentally unwell she is

You ever get a headache from the 8 "you"s in your head just fucking shouting at you??? Because I got one of those and it's fucking infuriating
All the thoughts are coming from me, in my voice, but they're so constant and hostile that it PHYSICALLY HURTS

I only have one relationship that feels like it's actually going both ways, and I love that relationship but it's depressing feeling so alone when surrounded by friends.
It almost always feels like I'm putting so much effort in and trying so hard and the other person just takes it for granted. Idk

I also cannot gauge the intensity of flirting, like I will always over or undershoot whats appropriate leading to making myself looking like an ASS

I really just feel like the people talking to me, calling me hot do it out of obligation, that's what I was told for years, the only reason I got complimented was because it kept up appearances.
I know that these people don't actually like me. This loneliness is killing me, I don't know what to do.