Andy Churnwell
@churnwell.bsky.social
1.7K followers 270 following 2.5K posts
Princess Diana Legacy award-winning broadcaster on Emblem Digital and Superdrug FM. Centrist. Landlord ally. Ruddles. Bazake Media. [email protected]
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churnwell.bsky.social
As a professional broadcaster with 5 decades of music expertise I know everything there is know about music. This compilation, release some years ago, is a collection of what I regard as the best music ever released. All killer. No filler. Links below:
LP cover for the above mentioned album. Me doing the thumbs up in a studio; cartoon of me holding a record beside it; "big in the german-speaking world" at the bottom.
churnwell.bsky.social
They told them a famous footballer from England would be visiting and they assumed it would be Saka or something.
Sir Keir and an Indian youth football team.
churnwell.bsky.social
Sir Keir has recorded and mixed his debut album And Here Come The Tears with producer Timbaland.
Sir Keir in recording studio Keir on da mic
churnwell.bsky.social
He's only gone and written "fuck" on his face. What is he like!? 🤪
Marilyn Manson with "fuck" written on his face.
churnwell.bsky.social
Film idea: a divorced comedy writer (Gram Lineham) constructs robotic trousers that allow him to convert his transphobia into farts. His aim: to win the attention of the woman of his dreams.
churnwell.bsky.social
We've had Charlie Kirk, anti-abortion stuff, transphobia, anti-vax campaigns. What's the next American evangelical Christian issue that'll sweep across this nation like Chubby Checker's The Twist in 1958?
churnwell.bsky.social
You're hooking up with some guy on Grindr. He's gorgeous. The chemistry is great. You're making out, caressing each other. He gestures to the bedroom and that's when you spot this on the coffee table.
Enoch Powell was right keyring.
churnwell.bsky.social
Important message. Please listen carefully.
churnwell.bsky.social
Sir Keir woos Leicester voters with war dead-respecting capers.
Man dressed as poppy outside King Power Stadium
churnwell.bsky.social
British patriots in 2025 watching Charlie Kirk debate videos and retweeting Turning Point.
Man smiling with big white teeth. "Viz Top Tips: Convince people you have American teeth by putting a train ticket in your mouth."
churnwell.bsky.social
A Birtley bamber. A proper British delicacy. Feed a family for a week on this. Tomatoes, onions, and grapes, on a stottie plumper. This is what the woke brigade want to take from us!
Messi's pizza with sliced tomatoes, onions, olives.
churnwell.bsky.social
A sneak peek at Thomas Skinner's character, Stretch Thomstrong, in Pixar's upcoming Toy Story film.
Horrid image of a Pixar version of Stretch Amrstrong with Thomas Skinner's face.
churnwell.bsky.social
In the 1970s, popular shows likes Parkinson used to feature figures like W. H. Auden, Harold Pinter, Gore Vidal, Maya Angelou, and Jacob Bronowski. Nowadays millions of people listen to The Joe Rogan Experience, hosted by an oaf, Joe Rogan.
churnwell.bsky.social
These Taylor Swift lyrics are 🔥

Big ones, small ones, all shapes and sizes
Whip 'em out when the time arises
From a chode to a dong
I'll sing about them in my song
I like looking at them on my iPad
Willies
churnwell.bsky.social
"Victoria, can you sit down for a moment... I've fucked it. I'm fucking ruined. I've gambled on AI, injected into the UK's veins, and it's flopped. Pack your bags now. We need to leave... I'm not joking. They're going to break my legs. They're going to break my fucking legs!"
Sir Keir taking into a phone.
churnwell.bsky.social
"Paul's a fucking Soy Boy. He doesn't like Troomp. We need to come together and vote Troomp."
churnwell.bsky.social
Just imagined a world in which John Lennon, still alive, was on The Joe Rogan Experience talking favourably about Charlie Kirk, Trump, and the carnivore diet.
Yoko and John Lennon
churnwell.bsky.social
Half the book is pathologising women for having basic human emotions. Yet nothing about people who think it's gay to carry a lunchbox.
churnwell.bsky.social
When they release the DSM-6 they should include whatever crisis of #MensMentalHealth causes them to post stuff like this.
Voice it out
@thechampioncum
·
Oct 3
Carrying a lunchbox to work is a feminine trait. There’s absolutely nothing manly about that.
churnwell.bsky.social
This Swindon man injected horse cum into his face for a fresh new look that turns heads.
Peter Tiel in 2017, looking relatively normal, and him in 2024, looking like a wet Stretch Armstrong.
churnwell.bsky.social
Dr Yakub is inventing new kinds of white people every day.
Peter Tiel
churnwell.bsky.social
Big ones, small ones, all shapes and sizes
Whip 'em out when the time arises
From a chode to a dong
I'll sing about them in my song
I like looking at them on them on my iPad
Willies
churnwell.bsky.social
If you like that Taylor Swift song about a willy. You should hear the one I wrote.