"hey man are you gonna eat that"
me:

tweeting from the shower on an iphone 11 with a cracked screen and no case

titties on strike the way they SAG

watching fleabag for the first time. she wouldnt be sad if she embraced being 6 feet they need her on the basketball court she could dunk on everyone. she would be so much happier if she hooped

[walking up to a girl to introduce myself to her] i can say this to you because i'm a musician. your pussy STINKS