Had a cleaning at the dentist, they got me feeling all Chip Skylark

Go ahead, call the police!! They can't unsniff your balls!

Female furries be afraid to have a cookie on their sonas but me I'm all up in that fortune like a minecraft enchantment..🥴

Pisscatarian

Hit post

Fuck Zodiac Signs, what's your favorite vintage Poptropica World?

@samsungmobileus.bsky.social jesus, stop sending out updates. You've forced my phone to do the same update 10 times in one day yesterday, and today the One UI 8.0 update is bringing my phone to its knees. It cannot download a 3Gb update without every function of my phone brought to a screeching stop

@samsungmobileus.bsky.social Please learn how to push through an update to phones. Every time you do, my phone downloads and repeatedly installs the SAME update 3-10 times before finally realizing it's up to date. Immediately after an install, it downloads AGAIN. Fix your phone updates PLEASE.

Dddaaamn bb.. are you Itachi Uchiha? Cuz you can use your Infinite CheekoYummy on my anytime.

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Pitbulls are child seeking missiles. The pitbull knows where the child is because it knows where the child isn't

Hand me the reins and I'll take it for a joy ride ~

Why does the singer from Gorillaz have more bars than their rapper? Like objectively speaking

@nintendousa.bsky.social I NEED you to understand that when your company tries to patent the very concepts of summoner games to ACT like you own the creative monopoly on summoning, THIS is how you look like. If your competitors got a popular game released it's because they worked hard and EARNED IT.

Shit that pisses me off about defense spending is how gonna pay $20 billion to some stupid fuckass corpo to design a solution for you?? Give a team of autistic adults who REALLY like takes like $100k a year each and an ipad for when the work is done and you'll have the most emaculate defense ever.

Litmus test idea:
Give someone a hyper specific tech problem to consult the internet, but that someone solves it before the internet can reply.

If you leave the solution on the page yourself, you're a pretty good person in my book.

Gotta stretch the toes, if you get any closer, you might find yourself a little paralyzed~

🎨: @boyonomo.bsky.social 💙💜💙

To all my UK friends:

V

Nah Smoking cigarettes gotta be racist cuz like how you gonna tell me your lungs TURNED black? 🤨

If you ever feel bad about yourself, just rememner you aren't the dumbass that invented the Michigan left. Fuck you dude, you are the world's worst traffic engineer.

I love when oofie threatens me ☺️