i was told good things about me being a trainee the past months.

it was a lot for me to give up, monetarily and number of cases-wise. i also gave up good people, both inner and outer circles.

it was a good 2 months and 1 week. none is lost; just a full heart and fuller vision for the future ahead.

... and consultants. i even delayed another day of quitting to make sure if there's a chance i would change my mind at the very last second. and yet, i still said no.

i'm glad i had those talks. i'm grateful for the delays. i learned how much they wanted me there after all. and i've seen my growth.

i quit a few days ago.
i finished my pre-residency. went through another 8 days of duty. but even during the processing of getting employed and included in the hospital system, i had the nagging feeling of not forwarding my requirements. and so i didn't.
i had about 5 talks with my seniors ...

I asked if they'd let me quit, they won't let me!!! Aaaaaaa

Reality is I don't want to, but the output and feedback don't really translate well with my intentions. :-(

I still feel the blues whenever I'm on duty status, but it started to lessen last time. My seniors are so teaching, patient, and generous. I'm so blessed. 🙏

Apparently, they accepted me to be a pre-resident... Why do I feel sad?

My patient is so sweet 🥹 i initially saw them before. Yesterday, they went to a specialist but still came back to me in case i had further advice about the management.

Being entrusted with my patients' lives is such a big responsibility and compliment 😭

Some patients don't respect doctor's clinic hours. :-(

:-( already got a bad first impression. i still want to see it through,, but i dont have a good feeling about this

I voluntarily cut off my hours... It's time.

#2
Another patient told me they felt *happy* when they saw I was in the clinic today. Last month, I started them on their anti gout meds and told me they felt much better. 🥹

It's like I'm being redirected...
It's time.

Funny how we were /just/ talking about the triad of work/money, prep, and rest (where you can choose only 2). Only to receive an update hours later where they cut my work hours on a short notice...

On one hand: Less income
On the other: Less work, more time for prep and rest 🤔

But this is the card we're dealt right now, so I learn to be thankful and more responsible 🙏

Wow, working for a company sucks.
They expect you to be on time, won't credit extensions, while they pay you less *and* delayed? Great.

Career-assuring moment:
Whenever my patients say they feel comfortable with me or they feel reassured and like a weight has been lifted off their chest. 🥹

This profession requires me to be patient as well.