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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 6h

Once I tried the warming lube they make and it felt similar. Similar enough that I never got any again. Lmao

Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 6h

(The cat was fine…I washed her fur and got it all off and she ended up being perfectly happy and lived with me for a while til I found her a home)

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 6h

Conclusion: I pepper sprayed my girlcock and it wasn’t even like a cool fetish or something.

I now wash my hands after petting stray cats, always. And I wash my hands before I masturbate. 😄

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 6h

A stray cat liked to visit me. One day she showed up and was like, spitting up white foam and seemed like she felt ill. I made her comfy and about an hour later I…ahem…needed to take my matters into my own hands so to speak.
Someone had pepper sprayed her. I pet the cat. Later I touched myself.

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 6h

Yep that’s the typical reaction

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 6h

Ever get pepper spray on your hands and then touch yourself intimately?
I don’t even know how to properly tell that story without it sounding less funny than it does with zero context lmao

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Reposted by Claire (derogatory)

gakulon @gakulon.bsky.social · 6h

it's fitting that lesbian day is in the scary season because i love it when lesbians scare the hell out of me

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 7h

there’s a whole PILE where is the pile

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 8h

Need a girl whose job it is to come over to my house once a day to smack me until I eat something/drink more water.
I drink a LOT of water but I frequently forget to and then also forget to eat and then I keep wondering why I start feeling like crap

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 8h

I never know the right thing to say but I will say that I don’t wanna see you disappear so…don’t disappear. 🫂

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 8h

A woman crying with what appears to be a pregnancy test, with the test window showing “lesbiab”

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 8h

Guys I think I caught the gay 😧

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 10h

Decades of conditioning keep me from saying “cunt” in anything higher than a whisper in conversation
I also have never been able to say “pussy” during sex but that’s like, another whole conditioning issue I think

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 10h

Night shift is great until you realize you’re fighting millions of years of biological evolution saying “it’s night time, stupid ass, why the fuck you still awake?”

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 11h

Nipple is a terrible word for something so wonderful

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 11h

Bitching about your job is essentially a human right imho
Also your employer sounds like a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and their butt smells, and they like to kiss their own butt

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 11h

Me too. I just kinda wanna interact with people in real life, but this is the closest I can get right now to queer community involvement.

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 11h

I’m way too anxious about my own writing to go into detail. 😄

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 11h

I woke up today with what I thought was a great idea for a semi-short science fiction story and I’ve been afraid all night to do a search and maybe find out it’s something someone else has already done lol

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 11h

I had an account that I got from an invite code (she’s still here and has a good following, I was surprised she invited me) and I deleted it due to a doxxing incident. I truly believe I’d be the giant others would stand on the shoulders of by now… 😄

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 12h

Honestly I’m just sick of this country and I want to go contribute somewhere else. I know immigration usually only works well when you can get a stable job and the job I have (no I’m not telling!) is pretty useful to the public but not like, one you immigrate for typically so…

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 12h

Searching for jobs by finding out what industries Canadians need workers for, and training accordingly

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 12h

Hey baby, I been rotating you in my mind like a cube all night, I have a headache from the mental effort

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 12h

I guess I wouldn’t have remembered it unless he was carrying around like, a melted clock or something.
Although since I was never in Spain it’s probably statistically unlikely. 🧐

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Claire (derogatory) @clarissakickass.bsky.social · 12h

I could have run into Salvador Dali on the street. I didn’t, but I could have, because we briefly existed at the same time

rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 20h

you ever think about those real weird overlaps. like tennessee williams might have listened to the ramones

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