I think this comic is the basis of Seanbaby’s old parody from Cracked-before-it-went-shit: “Spontaneo! The Dog Who Doesn’t Give a Fuck!”

God, I really don’t like this album. A couple of songs – “Prodigal Son” and “Purgatory” – are better than I remember, but the majority of this stuff is just reheated shite from the band’s early years, and Paul Di’Anno is just a generic NWOBHM vocalist.

Help us Bruce Dickinson, you’re our only hope.

“Drifter” can piss off. It’s just “Running Free” but sped up, and I fucking hate “Running Free”. And the words “I’m gonna cuddle up to you tonight” have no place whatsoever in a heavy metal song. What’s with that daft sing-songy lead part halfway through, too? Finishing on a real low.

“Purgatory” has a rocket up its arse, a memorable chorus, and a nicely-flowing arrangement. It’s actually decent: if more of the album was like this I wouldn’t hate it. Unfortunately once again Steve couldn’t be arsed writing more than one verse and Paul struggles to keep up in the one he did write.

“Prodigal Son” sounds bizarrely like Jeff Buckley. It’s not exactly a bad song, it’s just not an Iron Maiden song. Really shows Di’Anno’s limitations too, just like “Remember Tomorrow” and “Phantom of the Opera” on the debut. No way it needs to be six minutes long, either.

Newly-written, “Killers” is the highlight of the record. That doesn’t sound like it’s saying much, but it’s really a cracking song. You can tell that some of the shite on this LP dated back as far as 1977, because this is leaps and bounds beyond anything else here.

“Innocent Exile” another bit of lazy writing. One of the first Maiden songs apparently, so Steve had at least five years to write more lyrics for this. Obviously didn’t care enough. More disjointed arrangements, and the bass intro is dog-dick ugly. Lots of energy expended to get absolutely nowhere.

“Genghis Khan” isn’t exactly a *bad* song but two instrumentals on one album is surely a sign something’s wrong – especially when one of them’s allegedly nicked from another band.

The whole thing feels rushed too, until the proto-“Hallowed Be Thy Name” bit halfway through.

“Another Life” the first clunker. Repeating the same verse multiple times might have worked for their eponymous song but it’s just lazy now. The guitars in the intro are really ugly, and the instrumental break feels like it’s been awkwardly sellotaped onto the song.

I should preface this by admitting that I think Di’Anno-era Maiden was shite compared to Bruce-era Maiden anyway. I’ve always maintained that there are only three good songs on this album: “Wrathchild”, “Murders in the Rue Morgue”, and the title track, with the rest being rejects from the debut.

Look at how many people are mourning Rob Reiner’s death, how many happy memories people have because of him and his work, how many lives he positively impacted.

The only way Trump will be eulogised in such a manner by anybody is if they’re forced to do so at gunpoint.

If I say what I’m thinking I’ll get kicked off this site and banned from the US for life.

With the way things are going, the latter doesn’t seem like such a bad thing.

No you don’t.