Happy I Know Exactly One Pogues Song Day to all those who celebrate

One of my packages is delayed due to railroad mechanical failure, where is infrastructure week when you need it

My most petty trait is that I like following quasi celebrities on Instagram and then congratulating myself for my baby being cuter than theirs

Every gift guide leads me to believe everyone is just sending each other fancy chocolates and yet I have never received them is this a scam or am I a monster

I'd be more willing to give money to Wikipedia if they moved the Personal Life section of every celebrity's entry up top where it belongs

This week, people are taking the Harbaugh brother matchup and really holding space with that

My theory on why Gen X is voting so conservative is that all the former Real World cast members are now on Fox but actually appointing one as Transportation Secretary is next level

Activate the chicken parm, boys

The first company that tries to sell me something for my baby without patronizingly writing "You got this, mama" in their copy will get all my money