Plenty of encounters with flying stinging critters growing up on a farm.
The worst, one day while mending fence, we stepped on a ground hornets nest. 21 stings for me, 12 for my dad. I think he was faster than me making it into the pond.
Silver lining- no more fence mending for us that day.

My new favorite: twitch

These people sound like mercantilists from 1725

Like the Onion, it's probably a challenge for the poor pitchbot to come up with a parody that's further out there than current reality.

Normally he will post a notification "breaking character" when speaking in his own voice, not the pitchbot's. But here, he had just posted a parody message that was possibly out-parodied by an actual news blurb on the same subject.

The number of kids growing up who have aspired to be nose tackles or guards has always been a low

Yes, true. But some of the prose in the updated editions was by White, I think. Truth to tell I've never actually seen a copy of Elements of Style that was a pre-White edition.

That's from Elements of Style I'm pretty sure. Don't know if William Strunk wrote it or EB White.....