@coffeeanddadjokes.bsky.social
Father, gamer and coffee addict. Officially too old for this sh*t.
Why is partying in Times Square overrated?
Because they drop the ball every year.
Get it? THEY DROP THE BALL. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Because they drop the ball every year.
Get it? THEY DROP THE BALL. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a happy new year greeting card with gold numbers 2026
ALT: a happy new year greeting card with gold numbers 2026
media.tenor.com
January 1, 2026 at 12:24 AM
Why is partying in Times Square overrated?
Because they drop the ball every year.
Get it? THEY DROP THE BALL. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Because they drop the ball every year.
Get it? THEY DROP THE BALL. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
What do reindeer say before telling a joke?
This one will sleigh you!
This one will sleigh you!
a man is smiling and touching his forehead .
ALT: a man is smiling and touching his forehead .
media.tenor.com
December 20, 2025 at 9:14 PM
What do reindeer say before telling a joke?
This one will sleigh you!
This one will sleigh you!
What makes a candy cane a collector's item?
It's in mint condition.
Get it? MINT condition?!? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
It's in mint condition.
Get it? MINT condition?!? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a man wearing glasses and a black jacket is sitting at a table with his hands in the air .
ALT: a man wearing glasses and a black jacket is sitting at a table with his hands in the air .
media.tenor.com
December 20, 2025 at 3:07 AM
What makes a candy cane a collector's item?
It's in mint condition.
Get it? MINT condition?!? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
It's in mint condition.
Get it? MINT condition?!? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
Get it? Stuffed?!? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
Get it? Stuffed?!? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a woman wearing glasses and a red striped dress is smiling
ALT: a woman wearing glasses and a red striped dress is smiling
media.tenor.com
December 19, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
Get it? Stuffed?!? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
Get it? Stuffed?!? 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?
They spruce up
They spruce up
a cartoon character in a red sweater is holding a cell phone in front of a christmas tree
ALT: a cartoon character in a red sweater is holding a cell phone in front of a christmas tree
media.tenor.com
December 18, 2025 at 4:10 AM
How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?
They spruce up
They spruce up
What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him?
The cold shoulder.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
The cold shoulder.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a man dressed as santa claus is wearing glasses and a santa hat
ALT: a man dressed as santa claus is wearing glasses and a santa hat
media.tenor.com
December 17, 2025 at 4:34 AM
What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him?
The cold shoulder.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
The cold shoulder.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
Because they're always dropping their needles. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Because they're always dropping their needles. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a gingerbread man wearing a santa hat and bow tie
ALT: a gingerbread man wearing a santa hat and bow tie
media.tenor.com
December 16, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
Because they're always dropping their needles. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Because they're always dropping their needles. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Where do rainbows go when they've been bad?
To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they've done. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they've done. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
a man wearing a shirt that says expert crafter
ALT: a man wearing a shirt that says expert crafter
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Where do rainbows go when they've been bad?
To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they've done. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they've done. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
They'd crack each other up! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a fried egg with a smiley face on it
ALT: a fried egg with a smiley face on it
media.tenor.com
August 3, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
They'd crack each other up! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Ken came in another box. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
buzz lightyear from toy story is smiling and looking at the camera in a close up of his face .
ALT: buzz lightyear from toy story is smiling and looking at the camera in a close up of his face .
media.tenor.com
July 23, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Ken came in another box. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
How do you identify a bald eagle?
All his feathers are combed over to one side. 😂🤣
All his feathers are combed over to one side. 😂🤣
a man in a suit and tie is smiling while sitting in front of a window in an office .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is smiling while sitting in front of a window in an office .
media.tenor.com
May 20, 2025 at 4:21 PM
How do you identify a bald eagle?
All his feathers are combed over to one side. 😂🤣
All his feathers are combed over to one side. 😂🤣
I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure. I said no, but I could perform Bohemian Rhapsody. 😂🤣
a man wearing a white tank top is covering his mouth with his hand
ALT: a man wearing a white tank top is covering his mouth with his hand
media.tenor.com
April 12, 2025 at 4:05 AM
I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure. I said no, but I could perform Bohemian Rhapsody. 😂🤣
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
It had too many problems
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a man wearing headphones is sitting in front of a microphone that says rode
ALT: a man wearing headphones is sitting in front of a microphone that says rode
media.tenor.com
March 8, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
It had too many problems
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He'll dessert you.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
He'll dessert you.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a man is laying on a bed covered in rose petals and says `` happy valentine 's day ! ''
ALT: a man is laying on a bed covered in rose petals and says `` happy valentine 's day ! ''
media.tenor.com
February 14, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He'll dessert you.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
He'll dessert you.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣
In case he got a hole in one.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣
a man wearing a shirt that says expert crafter
ALT: a man wearing a shirt that says expert crafter
media.tenor.com
February 12, 2025 at 5:26 AM
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣
In case he got a hole in one.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣
I can only aspire to Kendrick's level of pettiness.
But seriously, I'm not a football guy. I watched the halftime show at a friend's insistence, and I'm glad I did. One hell of a performance, and that it seems to have pissed off the right people is a bonus.
But seriously, I'm not a football guy. I watched the halftime show at a friend's insistence, and I'm glad I did. One hell of a performance, and that it seems to have pissed off the right people is a bonus.
February 10, 2025 at 4:33 AM
I can only aspire to Kendrick's level of pettiness.
But seriously, I'm not a football guy. I watched the halftime show at a friend's insistence, and I'm glad I did. One hell of a performance, and that it seems to have pissed off the right people is a bonus.
But seriously, I'm not a football guy. I watched the halftime show at a friend's insistence, and I'm glad I did. One hell of a performance, and that it seems to have pissed off the right people is a bonus.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug. 🙄
She gave me a hug. 🙄
a woman is smiling and looking at the camera while wearing a white jacket and a pink shirt .
ALT: a woman is smiling and looking at the camera while wearing a white jacket and a pink shirt .
media.tenor.com
February 10, 2025 at 2:22 AM
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug. 🙄
She gave me a hug. 🙄
Why do other shapes avoid talking to circles?
There’s just no point.
There's JUST. NO. POINT. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
There’s just no point.
There's JUST. NO. POINT. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
a bald man in a suit and white shirt is sitting in a chair with his fist in the air .
ALT: a bald man in a suit and white shirt is sitting in a chair with his fist in the air .
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Why do other shapes avoid talking to circles?
There’s just no point.
There's JUST. NO. POINT. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
There’s just no point.
There's JUST. NO. POINT. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Someone threw a Coke can at me earlier, but I'm not hurt.
Luckily, it was a soft drink. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Luckily, it was a soft drink. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
a drawing of a person playing drums with the words ba dum tsss
ALT: a drawing of a person playing drums with the words ba dum tsss
media.tenor.com
February 7, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Someone threw a Coke can at me earlier, but I'm not hurt.
Luckily, it was a soft drink. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Luckily, it was a soft drink. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.
I told her it must be my weekend immune system.
I told her it must be my weekend immune system.
a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a desk eating something
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a desk eating something
media.tenor.com
February 5, 2025 at 12:18 AM
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.
I told her it must be my weekend immune system.
I told her it must be my weekend immune system.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
GET IT?!? A LITTLE HOARSE. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A little hoarse.
GET IT?!? A LITTLE HOARSE. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
a man with a mustache is wearing a suit and tie and making a funny face .
ALT: a man with a mustache is wearing a suit and tie and making a funny face .
media.tenor.com
February 4, 2025 at 3:39 AM
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
GET IT?!? A LITTLE HOARSE. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A little hoarse.
GET IT?!? A LITTLE HOARSE. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I went to a restaurant on the moon.
The food was delicious, but there was no atmosphere.
The food was delicious, but there was no atmosphere.
a man with glasses and a beard is sitting in front of a man in a superhero costume
ALT: a man with glasses and a beard is sitting in front of a man in a superhero costume
media.tenor.com
February 3, 2025 at 6:10 AM
I went to a restaurant on the moon.
The food was delicious, but there was no atmosphere.
The food was delicious, but there was no atmosphere.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved.
IT JUST WAVED. 😂🤣
Nothing. It just waved.
IT JUST WAVED. 😂🤣
a man is sitting on a couch and laughing with his hands in the air .
ALT: a man is sitting on a couch and laughing with his hands in the air .
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2025 at 4:08 AM
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved.
IT JUST WAVED. 😂🤣
Nothing. It just waved.
IT JUST WAVED. 😂🤣
How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the fresh prints.
Get it?!? THE FRESH PRINTS. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄
You follow the fresh prints.
Get it?!? THE FRESH PRINTS. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄
a man in a suit and tie is making a funny face with his hand to his mouth .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is making a funny face with his hand to his mouth .
media.tenor.com
February 1, 2025 at 2:35 AM
How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the fresh prints.
Get it?!? THE FRESH PRINTS. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄
You follow the fresh prints.
Get it?!? THE FRESH PRINTS. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄