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Connor Ratliff

@connorratliff.bsky.social

8.6K followers 640 following 980 posts

Webby Award-winning Actor/Comedian/Podcaster • Dead Eyes • Tiny Dinos • The George Lucas Talk Show • Raaaatscraps every Sunday • "Mr. Rapp" in Mean Girls (2024) • NEW: that State Farm commercial • ALSO: Disney's Stitch comics co-written with James III!

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 14h

Disney's STITCH #2 -- written by me & James III, art by Greta Xella -- is now in comic book shops!

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

This family was fucking THRILLED to get the hat back. They looked so sad and exhausted until I approached them with the hat and I think it was just the feeling of a random stranger actually giving a fuck about their hat made us all feel like real human beings for a second.

It was nice.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

I walked in the opposite direction of my gate and didn't see them anywhere until I eventually I FOUND them and gave hat dad his hat back.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

When I finally got my bags, I also now had hat dad's hat.

I decided to go walking through the whole airport to see if I could find hat family

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

Many minutes later, my bags were run through -- the one without the water bottle in it had not been flagged, the machine had failed to take a picture of it when it went through the first time, they said

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

My bag and its bin with added hat was all still way down the line, many bags in front of it.

The family stopped begging for the hat and I looked over at one point to see that they were gone.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

The TSA guy didn't use the word "stanchion"

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

I was so worried that this man had technically crossed a legal threshold that was going to be really bad for this family that just wanted dad's hat back!!!

But fortunately the TSA dude seemed to exhausted to do anything but reiterate that nobody but TSA was allowed past the stanchion.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

Finally, after waiting a while with no one there, hat dad did something I have never seen ANYONE do.

He got fed up & he WENT BEHIND, past the stanchion, to the TSA-only zone, to grab his hat!

Out of nowhere, a new TSA person appeared & immediately escorted him 5 feet back to the non-forbidden zone

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

What happened to the student? I don't know this story

Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

When these two TSA dudes were done with Lotion Bag, they announced that someone else would be there soon, and they LEFT.

The hat family lost their minds!

There were tons of us waiting for our bags to be inspected and set free.

Nobody was getting paid.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

Two TSA guys were going through a bag which was just FILLED with bottles of lotions that were TOO BIG! One after another, they held up big bottles of cream and lotion, seemingly asking the person, "do you want to use all this lotion right now, or have us throw it away?"

It all got thrown away.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

The man and his family were trying to ask the TSA agents, can they just give him his hat? They were trying to explain, his hat had not been flagged, it just got scooped up bc it fell out of his bin on the belt!

The TSA agents did not want to hear it. It was too complicated to explain!

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

But before my main bag's bin went sideways, there was a baseball cap that had fallen from another person's bin and gotten sort of stuck in the gears of the conveyer belt.

A TSA person walking by took the cap and placed it in MY bin. The man whose hat it was already had his bin and bags.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

Both my bags get flagged for inspection. You know how it gets to that part of the machine where it comes out and pauses on the belt and it can either continue towards you OR go sideways for further inspection? Both bags went sideways, and there was a BACKLOG.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

I had my two bags (the ones I would later still have in the subway when confronted) go through the machine, and I realized "OOPS I forgot to take out the bottle of water I had in the side pocket of my duffel."

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

2nd thing, earlier:

Flying from Austin to NYC. Austin airport, TSA.

These workers were short-staffed AND they aren't currently being paid bc of Trump shutting the government down. It was a miserable vibe, understandably.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

By the time the train arrived, the platform was really full, and I don't even know if the group of young friends got on the train. Anyway, it rattled me! It has been a while since I have been surrounded by a gang of ppl who seemed to intend to at bare minimum make me feel threatened.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

The group of friends just glared at me, like I had I guess done something cowardly by evading them instead of engaging with whatever they had intended to do to me? Who knows? It did make me wonder, "when the train arrives, do we all just get on the same train together? Will they come visit my car?"

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

I had previously flown from Austin and had brought my luggage to the show, so I should note that I looked more like a tourist than a local. Small rolling suitcase and a duffel bag. Anyway, I walked a direct line to where the 3 cops were and just stood next to them.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

I had about a half-second to clock that they had 5 friends who were also forming a semi-circle that was closing in towards me.

I said, "Oh." OUT LOUD, for some reason, and then immediately started walking away, heading towards where there were more people including 3 cops.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

The person was either in their late teens or early 20s, but the one thing that was instantly clear from their expression was that they were HOSTILE towards me. The vibe was "fuck you" and the energy was very much that of someone in a mood to cause me harm for their amusement.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

Last night, standing on the subway platform, I could sense that a person was approaching, they were close in my peripheral vision.

I looked up, assuming, "this is a person who just saw the show."

It was NOT.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

So, occasionally, a person or persons will approach to say something nice, to acknowledge "we just saw you in that show" and that they liked it.

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Connor Ratliff @connorratliff.bsky.social · 2d

Here's two other things, unrelated, except for my overall mood:

1) after my Sunday night improv show, Raaaatscraps, I sometimes find that there will be the phenomenon of a subway station where performers and audience members will be waiting for the same train...

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