Constable Dooley
@constabledooley.bsky.social
World’s First Official Internet Patrolman. Uniformed - if altogether uninformed - chronicler of history, society & celebrity. E-book on Amazon: https://shorturl.at/izAvj (Hard copy available direct-to-consumer.)
May the best Levi's jersey-denimed-team win! #SuperSunday #NFL
February 8, 2026 at 6:33 PM
May the best Levi's jersey-denimed-team win! #SuperSunday #NFL
'Tis never a bad time to return a favour and thank a uniformed official. Carry on, good citizens. #nationalmailcarrierday
February 6, 2026 at 5:02 PM
'Tis never a bad time to return a favour and thank a uniformed official. Carry on, good citizens. #nationalmailcarrierday
A moment of pause on the Station House music tickler for singer Chuck Negron, who passed away yesterday. He is reunited with his Three Dog Night bandmate Cory Wells, who died in 2015. 😪
February 4, 2026 at 3:04 AM
A moment of pause on the Station House music tickler for singer Chuck Negron, who passed away yesterday. He is reunited with his Three Dog Night bandmate Cory Wells, who died in 2015. 😪
As I Underhand It™, today in Punxsutawney the plaid-jacketed faithful dust off their Porkert hand crankers and set to the task grinding fatty hog bits whilst readying the casings for a proper sausage linking. Happy Groundhog Day!
February 3, 2026 at 12:36 AM
As I Underhand It™, today in Punxsutawney the plaid-jacketed faithful dust off their Porkert hand crankers and set to the task grinding fatty hog bits whilst readying the casings for a proper sausage linking. Happy Groundhog Day!
We're hearing good things about this new stateside release — you'll oblige our request for "No Spoilers!" — and are keen for it to find its way to our nape of the neck. On with the showing! #melaniafilm
February 1, 2026 at 3:31 PM
We're hearing good things about this new stateside release — you'll oblige our request for "No Spoilers!" — and are keen for it to find its way to our nape of the neck. On with the showing! #melaniafilm
Bloody hell, citizens.
November 8, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Bloody hell, citizens.
October 9, 2025 at 2:39 PM
As I Underhand It™, US Army Corporal Maxwell Klinger received not only a public rebuke from top brass yesterday, but also the Section 8 discharge he long desired. And so it goes.
October 1, 2025 at 1:31 PM
As I Underhand It™, US Army Corporal Maxwell Klinger received not only a public rebuke from top brass yesterday, but also the Section 8 discharge he long desired. And so it goes.
There was a time you could walk into a proper barbershop at weeks’ end, ask for the "distinguished gentleman" and they knew precisely what you were after: A middle part, short back 'n sides, longer on top—ala the great #Shemp Howard—and swept over with a goodly dollop of brilliantine. Righto!
September 13, 2025 at 5:27 PM
There was a time you could walk into a proper barbershop at weeks’ end, ask for the "distinguished gentleman" and they knew precisely what you were after: A middle part, short back 'n sides, longer on top—ala the great #Shemp Howard—and swept over with a goodly dollop of brilliantine. Righto!
Well kiss my grits. The station house has learned that the original "Flo" — actress Polly Holliday, aka Florence Jean Castleberry from the stateside situational comedy "Alice" — has passed away. We send our condolences.😞
September 11, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Well kiss my grits. The station house has learned that the original "Flo" — actress Polly Holliday, aka Florence Jean Castleberry from the stateside situational comedy "Alice" — has passed away. We send our condolences.😞
Just in on the station house calisthenic tickler. #MakeAmericaHegsethAgain
September 6, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Just in on the station house calisthenic tickler. #MakeAmericaHegsethAgain
Before Michael Corleoni, Carlito Brigatoni, Antonio Montano and countless other onscreen guineas of note, young Alfredo Pacino was a gentle—if wife-beater teed—nature lover who delighted in summering on his beloved nonni’s farm in Sicily.
September 6, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Before Michael Corleoni, Carlito Brigatoni, Antonio Montano and countless other onscreen guineas of note, young Alfredo Pacino was a gentle—if wife-beater teed—nature lover who delighted in summering on his beloved nonni’s farm in Sicily.
September 4, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Studies indicate that watching Fox News leaves one more ill-informed than watching no news at all. Will the average stateside “moron”—if you’ll forgive us for saying—catch the meaning behind this cheeky shot across the social media bow? #whobloodyknows #whobloodycares
September 3, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Studies indicate that watching Fox News leaves one more ill-informed than watching no news at all. Will the average stateside “moron”—if you’ll forgive us for saying—catch the meaning behind this cheeky shot across the social media bow? #whobloodyknows #whobloodycares
From the station house entertainment tickler comes news of the "Billy Elliot" sequel you didn't ask for (but bloody well may be what you need). As they say in the hills of Appalachia, Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!
September 2, 2025 at 11:00 PM
From the station house entertainment tickler comes news of the "Billy Elliot" sequel you didn't ask for (but bloody well may be what you need). As they say in the hills of Appalachia, Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!
As I Underhand It™, "The English teacher is marrying the bloody gym instructor." Bravo, Citizens Scholastica!
August 27, 2025 at 5:58 PM
As I Underhand It™, "The English teacher is marrying the bloody gym instructor." Bravo, Citizens Scholastica!
Before our official capacity policing the Internet, Yours Truly Dooley® was a uniformed foot soldier. Here we are, sans moustachio, fresh out of the Hendon Police Academy in London. Forever duty-bound. Righto!
August 22, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Before our official capacity policing the Internet, Yours Truly Dooley® was a uniformed foot soldier. Here we are, sans moustachio, fresh out of the Hendon Police Academy in London. Forever duty-bound. Righto!
If I am understanding this sordid musical tale correctly, you went out for a ride and never went back. (Took a wrong turn and elected to just keep going. Bully for you, Citizen Bossman.) Pray tell how the fatherless unit fared in the aftermath of your brazen disregard for their welfare. #hungryheart
August 12, 2025 at 2:36 PM
If I am understanding this sordid musical tale correctly, you went out for a ride and never went back. (Took a wrong turn and elected to just keep going. Bully for you, Citizen Bossman.) Pray tell how the fatherless unit fared in the aftermath of your brazen disregard for their welfare. #hungryheart
August 7, 2025 at 12:19 AM