it's actually incredible that for all my incredibly stunted development the one part of it that comes up the most in my day to day life is that I didn't have the wherewithal to play fps games for 3,000 hours as a teenager

This post is sponsored by playing 10 goddamn matches with mercy overwatch before realising you can super jump with ctrl. It's not on her controls page anywhere and it's the biggest part of her movement. Sometimes I feel like I'm taking crazy pills trying to understand video games

oh my. gosh,

you don't have a choice

We're poly it's just that cheating is hotter

mfw you have to do something to do it (thank you!!!! <3)

ik it's a bad idea to try and like, write down something that encapsulates everything you've ever felt into one thing. i'm not trying to do that. i'm just trying to write down *anything* that might represent something i'm feeling, and it feels like there's something telling me no

writing i guess i'm like, a little better at? i've written stuff before. i wouldn't have these followers if i couldnt. its just like, incredibly hard to actually write anything that means anything to me

i would say i approximately have the drawing skills of a 5 year old, and i am not joking when i say this. i just don't know how to hold a pencil well on paper to make shapes. it sucks! it sucks a lot!

i'll save you all the horrifying backstory but my childhood was completely starved of any creative output for multiple reasons and it feels like something that is just impossible to get in touch with now, 26 years later

Whenever I think about writing or drawing or anything I feel like there's a anchor weighing down on my chest that I can't do anything about. I used to think it was ADHD and I still think it is but I'm well-medicated and the same thing happens and it's very upsetting