I love it when another boat gets stuck or a train derails, its everything to me

panic! attack at the natural history museum

looking at italian bf show off his new uggs like he’s my pregnant wife

they would love me in syria

gotta stop telling uber drivers i love them

she stood up from the table, too quickly, and got dizzy. gingerly, she sat back down. then she stood up once more, again too suddenly. at last she resolved to crawl on all fours to the other side of the room. its easier this way, she thought. she didnt know if that was necessarily true

praxis is an “individual experience”. my “individual experience” happens to be “self-infantilization”

deeply moved by the struggles of small children to be interesting to their parents despite not being able to hold a conversation

assigned ingenue at birth

a van marked “dept of transportation”, somehow distinguishing it from other vehicles

once i learn what "draining" means everyone in the world will love me unconditionally

myers briggs is the name of the doctor not the monster

unfortunately i won’t be able to make it tonight. mother had the staff put up the dullest wallpaper you’ve ever seen and i’m experiencing a terrible sadness just looking at it. i think i’ll spend the night in fathers study, playing knifey fingers with his new set of engraved daggers