Costco (kinda)
@costco-holesale.bsky.social
Welcome to Costco. Get lost.
*Parody unaffiliated with all things Kirkland*
*Parody unaffiliated with all things Kirkland*
Pinned
Welcome to our echo chamber, where your cries for help bounce off 47 different brands of cheese.
If “organic” is in quotes, just ignore the quotes. Someone put them there as a joke and they’re being disciplined.
May 26, 2025 at 10:08 AM
If “organic” is in quotes, just ignore the quotes. Someone put them there as a joke and they’re being disciplined.
My boss made me write “please”
February 7, 2025 at 1:18 AM
My boss made me write “please”
At Costco, we’re proud that our products are fairly priced per pound. How much would you be worth?
January 29, 2025 at 10:48 PM
At Costco, we’re proud that our products are fairly priced per pound. How much would you be worth?
Would you fly COSTCO AIRLINES?
1) Free samples for refreshment
2) Sales catalog replaces safety guide
3) Leg room in bulk
4) A pharmacy in the back
5) No windows
1) Free samples for refreshment
2) Sales catalog replaces safety guide
3) Leg room in bulk
4) A pharmacy in the back
5) No windows
January 24, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Would you fly COSTCO AIRLINES?
1) Free samples for refreshment
2) Sales catalog replaces safety guide
3) Leg room in bulk
4) A pharmacy in the back
5) No windows
1) Free samples for refreshment
2) Sales catalog replaces safety guide
3) Leg room in bulk
4) A pharmacy in the back
5) No windows
It’s called Costco Wholesale for a reason, so let us know if you see anyone half-assing it.
January 24, 2025 at 4:27 PM
It’s called Costco Wholesale for a reason, so let us know if you see anyone half-assing it.
Only if you’re up on your membership dues.
@costco-holesale.bsky.social
hopefully #Costco will be our last line of defense against Nazism, racism, hatred, and fear! thank you to Costco's board ✌🏾✌🏿✌🏽✌🏼✌🏻
hopefully #Costco will be our last line of defense against Nazism, racism, hatred, and fear! thank you to Costco's board ✌🏾✌🏿✌🏽✌🏼✌🏻
January 24, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Only if you’re up on your membership dues.
FUN FACT: Our baked goods all have 0 sugar and O carbs!
Don't believe us? Why not?
Don't believe us? Why not?
January 18, 2025 at 1:37 PM
FUN FACT: Our baked goods all have 0 sugar and O carbs!
Don't believe us? Why not?
Don't believe us? Why not?
Fuck, Marry, Kill 🤔
January 10, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Fuck, Marry, Kill 🤔
With over 850 Costco locations worldwide, you'd think l'd tweet in a different language sometimes.
January 9, 2025 at 12:33 PM
With over 850 Costco locations worldwide, you'd think l'd tweet in a different language sometimes.
If you can button the pants, they're considered fitted.
January 6, 2025 at 5:51 PM
If you can button the pants, they're considered fitted.
Guess this celebrity and we'll bring back the combo pizza.
January 6, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Guess this celebrity and we'll bring back the combo pizza.
Bakeries, butchers, bodegas…
We won't stop until all small businesses are eradicated and you can quote me on that.
We won't stop until all small businesses are eradicated and you can quote me on that.
January 5, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Bakeries, butchers, bodegas…
We won't stop until all small businesses are eradicated and you can quote me on that.
We won't stop until all small businesses are eradicated and you can quote me on that.
We'll let you enter through the exit, but only on your birthday.
January 5, 2025 at 1:34 PM
We'll let you enter through the exit, but only on your birthday.
Setting a healthy new year's resolution?
Ours is to dismember yours $1.50 at a time.
Ours is to dismember yours $1.50 at a time.
January 4, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Setting a healthy new year's resolution?
Ours is to dismember yours $1.50 at a time.
Ours is to dismember yours $1.50 at a time.
You don’t need a membership to look around—but we can all tell you’re not one of us.
January 2, 2025 at 1:04 AM
You don’t need a membership to look around—but we can all tell you’re not one of us.
We're closed today, but feel free to drive around the parking lot for old times' sake.
January 1, 2025 at 1:14 PM
We're closed today, but feel free to drive around the parking lot for old times' sake.
What's your favorite New Year's tradition?
Ours is TPing the local Sam's Club with our scratchiest single-ply 🧻
Ours is TPing the local Sam's Club with our scratchiest single-ply 🧻
December 31, 2024 at 12:00 PM
What's your favorite New Year's tradition?
Ours is TPing the local Sam's Club with our scratchiest single-ply 🧻
Ours is TPing the local Sam's Club with our scratchiest single-ply 🧻
Good night to everyone except you because you didn’t buy your mother flowers from Costco today.
December 31, 2024 at 12:32 AM
Good night to everyone except you because you didn’t buy your mother flowers from Costco today.
Congrats to our new members popping their Costco cherry today! Also actual cherries are on sale in the back
December 29, 2024 at 4:34 PM
Congrats to our new members popping their Costco cherry today! Also actual cherries are on sale in the back
The fire extinguishers are around here somewhere if you need one.
December 29, 2024 at 12:27 PM
The fire extinguishers are around here somewhere if you need one.
If you’re returning your Christmas tree today, feel free to return to Hell.
December 28, 2024 at 1:38 PM
If you’re returning your Christmas tree today, feel free to return to Hell.
Anyone is welcome here—as long as they know the name of our founding father and the year the $1.50 hot dog was established.
December 26, 2024 at 2:04 PM
Anyone is welcome here—as long as they know the name of our founding father and the year the $1.50 hot dog was established.
Don't make fun of kids who still believe in Santa Claus. Some adults still believe Sam's Club food is edible.
December 25, 2024 at 1:55 PM
Don't make fun of kids who still believe in Santa Claus. Some adults still believe Sam's Club food is edible.
If we stopped carrying your favorite product, it's probably because of something you said.
December 24, 2024 at 8:34 PM
If we stopped carrying your favorite product, it's probably because of something you said.
"If you raise the price of the effing eggnog, I will kill you."
- Santa, probably
- Santa, probably
December 24, 2024 at 5:05 PM
"If you raise the price of the effing eggnog, I will kill you."
- Santa, probably
- Santa, probably