Jonathan E Cowperthwait
@cowperthwait.sfba.social.ap.brid.gy
Slow runner, fast talker, kind of medium speed reader. Tell your dog I said hi. @cowperthwait
🌉 bridged from ⁂ https://sfba.social/@cowperthwait, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact
🌉 bridged from ⁂ https://sfba.social/@cowperthwait, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
@cowperthwait oh it WAS that Shell station!
December 16, 2025 at 1:00 AM
@cowperthwait oh it WAS that Shell station!
Six minutes later, the neighborhood smells like campfire, but the smoke has dissipated. Wow, SFFD gets it *done*.
December 16, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Six minutes later, the neighborhood smells like campfire, but the smoke has dissipated. Wow, SFFD gets it *done*.
And three minutes later the smoke is white and starting to dissipate.
December 16, 2025 at 12:47 AM
And three minutes later the smoke is white and starting to dissipate.
“Hey; that guy reading in the corner wrapped in an afghan blanket: we want *him*” Look, it could happen
December 14, 2025 at 5:26 AM
“Hey; that guy reading in the corner wrapped in an afghan blanket: we want *him*” Look, it could happen
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: Well how would that even work? Have you thought of every single mechanic and eventuality of this scheme? Do you realize how hard it would be to accomplish?
A: oh then I guess we shouldn’t try. sorry
A: oh then I guess we shouldn’t try. sorry
December 14, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Q: Well how would that even work? Have you thought of every single mechanic and eventuality of this scheme? Do you realize how hard it would be to accomplish?
A: oh then I guess we shouldn’t try. sorry
A: oh then I guess we shouldn’t try. sorry
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: I have invented a device that time travels adult Hitler into the exact time and position of any pedestrian about to be hit by a speeding car. The original pedestrian does have to replace Hitler as Führer of the Third Reich but that could be good ultimately depending on their vibe
A: Sounds great
A: Sounds great
December 14, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Q: I have invented a device that time travels adult Hitler into the exact time and position of any pedestrian about to be hit by a speeding car. The original pedestrian does have to replace Hitler as Führer of the Third Reich but that could be good ultimately depending on their vibe
A: Sounds great
A: Sounds great
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: It’s MY CHOICE to speed, if you don’t want to speed, you don’t have to, but I choose to and you have to let me
A: You can’t apply a personal responsibility argument to behavior that harms other people
A: You can’t apply a personal responsibility argument to behavior that harms other people
December 14, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Q: It’s MY CHOICE to speed, if you don’t want to speed, you don’t have to, but I choose to and you have to let me
A: You can’t apply a personal responsibility argument to behavior that harms other people
A: You can’t apply a personal responsibility argument to behavior that harms other people
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: I’ve been gunshot by a rival gang member. I need to get to the hospital as fast as possible and driving thirty over the speed limit is the only way to get there before I bleed out
A: you should drive more safely so you don’t kill somebody on the way to the hospital
A: you should drive more safely so you don’t kill somebody on the way to the hospital
December 14, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Q: I’ve been gunshot by a rival gang member. I need to get to the hospital as fast as possible and driving thirty over the speed limit is the only way to get there before I bleed out
A: you should drive more safely so you don’t kill somebody on the way to the hospital
A: you should drive more safely so you don’t kill somebody on the way to the hospital
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: What if I need to escape from a murderer?
A: if the murderer hacked their car to get rid of the limiter they should have to pay a hefty fine.
A: if the murderer hacked their car to get rid of the limiter they should have to pay a hefty fine.
December 14, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Q: What if I need to escape from a murderer?
A: if the murderer hacked their car to get rid of the limiter they should have to pay a hefty fine.
A: if the murderer hacked their car to get rid of the limiter they should have to pay a hefty fine.
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: I like speeding!
A: I don’t care
A: I don’t care
December 14, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Q: I like speeding!
A: I don’t care
A: I don’t care
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: People will just hack their cars to remove the limit!
A: okay. most people won’t. also those people will be easier to catch speeding
A: okay. most people won’t. also those people will be easier to catch speeding
December 14, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Q: People will just hack their cars to remove the limit!
A: okay. most people won’t. also those people will be easier to catch speeding
A: okay. most people won’t. also those people will be easier to catch speeding
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: you’re really supporting another GOVERNMENT REGULATION?
A: uh huh
A: uh huh
December 14, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Q: you’re really supporting another GOVERNMENT REGULATION?
A: uh huh
A: uh huh
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: what if I need to pass someone?
A: pass them up to the speed limit. if the car is going the speed limit then you don’t need to pass them, because they’re going the speed limit (which is the speed limit)
A: pass them up to the speed limit. if the car is going the speed limit then you don’t need to pass them, because they’re going the speed limit (which is the speed limit)
December 14, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Q: what if I need to pass someone?
A: pass them up to the speed limit. if the car is going the speed limit then you don’t need to pass them, because they’re going the speed limit (which is the speed limit)
A: pass them up to the speed limit. if the car is going the speed limit then you don’t need to pass them, because they’re going the speed limit (which is the speed limit)
Reposted by Jonathan E Cowperthwait
Q: Geofenced speed limits? Oh you want TRUMP to know exactly where you are at all times??
A: okay then we can figure out another way to do it
A: okay then we can figure out another way to do it
December 14, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Q: Geofenced speed limits? Oh you want TRUMP to know exactly where you are at all times??
A: okay then we can figure out another way to do it
A: okay then we can figure out another way to do it
I’m just a simple country farmer, but it would appear I can only get the temperature to go up 2° (F) per hour. At this rate, I will be undead from frostbite by July.
December 12, 2025 at 6:06 AM
I’m just a simple country farmer, but it would appear I can only get the temperature to go up 2° (F) per hour. At this rate, I will be undead from frostbite by July.
Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant, it just makes me want to set myself on fire.
December 9, 2025 at 6:38 AM
Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant, it just makes me want to set myself on fire.
No, it’s fine, I’ll just clomp around the house in my Pope Francis puffy jacket.
December 9, 2025 at 6:16 AM
No, it’s fine, I’ll just clomp around the house in my Pope Francis puffy jacket.