The Rapper Formerly Known As 21 Cabbage
@crab-rangooner.bsky.social
28 // He / Him // Professional Degenerate
I shitpost on main while I beat my meat to furry porn.
🔞 ALL POSTS ARE SATIRE AND NOT INDICATIVE OF REAL WORLD ACTIVITIES!
I shitpost on main while I beat my meat to furry porn.
🔞 ALL POSTS ARE SATIRE AND NOT INDICATIVE OF REAL WORLD ACTIVITIES!
I ain't had real pussy in like 2 years.
Fuck a dry spell, I'm in Flint, Michigan circa 2014 at this point.
Fuck a dry spell, I'm in Flint, Michigan circa 2014 at this point.
February 14, 2026 at 10:59 AM
I ain't had real pussy in like 2 years.
Fuck a dry spell, I'm in Flint, Michigan circa 2014 at this point.
Fuck a dry spell, I'm in Flint, Michigan circa 2014 at this point.
I genuinely don't give a fuck how small your tiddies are, I can and will suck them shits raw.
February 13, 2026 at 10:12 AM
I genuinely don't give a fuck how small your tiddies are, I can and will suck them shits raw.
Is it weird to call off a potential relationship because you find it too awkward that they have the same name as one of your cousins and you didn't really find it weird until you were moaning their name while they were sucking you off?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
February 13, 2026 at 10:07 AM
Is it weird to call off a potential relationship because you find it too awkward that they have the same name as one of your cousins and you didn't really find it weird until you were moaning their name while they were sucking you off?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
"Gun to your head, you're 1 inch inside of a tomboy and a femboy is 1 inch in you. You backing up or moving forward?"
Yes.
Yes.
February 13, 2026 at 2:17 AM
"Gun to your head, you're 1 inch inside of a tomboy and a femboy is 1 inch in you. You backing up or moving forward?"
Yes.
Yes.
My Valentine's Day plans are the same as always.
Crying into a Jack & Coke while beating my meat to copious amounts of Judy Hopps porn and busty elf hentai.
Haha.
You think this is satire, but it isn't.
I'm one year away from doing my best impression of Kurt Cobain on April 5th, 1994.
Crying into a Jack & Coke while beating my meat to copious amounts of Judy Hopps porn and busty elf hentai.
Haha.
You think this is satire, but it isn't.
I'm one year away from doing my best impression of Kurt Cobain on April 5th, 1994.
February 12, 2026 at 8:31 AM
My Valentine's Day plans are the same as always.
Crying into a Jack & Coke while beating my meat to copious amounts of Judy Hopps porn and busty elf hentai.
Haha.
You think this is satire, but it isn't.
I'm one year away from doing my best impression of Kurt Cobain on April 5th, 1994.
Crying into a Jack & Coke while beating my meat to copious amounts of Judy Hopps porn and busty elf hentai.
Haha.
You think this is satire, but it isn't.
I'm one year away from doing my best impression of Kurt Cobain on April 5th, 1994.
I'm genuinely so fucked that I don't think I could unironically fuck someone my own age anymore.
Like, gang, have you SEEN how freaky MILFs are?
I could say one thing that makes her laugh and 2 hours later, I'm getting my asshole spit shined like a professional car detailer.
Need me some of that.
Like, gang, have you SEEN how freaky MILFs are?
I could say one thing that makes her laugh and 2 hours later, I'm getting my asshole spit shined like a professional car detailer.
Need me some of that.
February 7, 2026 at 3:28 PM
I'm genuinely so fucked that I don't think I could unironically fuck someone my own age anymore.
Like, gang, have you SEEN how freaky MILFs are?
I could say one thing that makes her laugh and 2 hours later, I'm getting my asshole spit shined like a professional car detailer.
Need me some of that.
Like, gang, have you SEEN how freaky MILFs are?
I could say one thing that makes her laugh and 2 hours later, I'm getting my asshole spit shined like a professional car detailer.
Need me some of that.
My barber fucked my shit up, gang. I'm not goin' anywhere for at least a month and DoorDash doesn't have pussy on any of their menus. Fuck.
January 10, 2026 at 10:11 AM
My barber fucked my shit up, gang. I'm not goin' anywhere for at least a month and DoorDash doesn't have pussy on any of their menus. Fuck.
Smokin' that shit that makes me wanna fuck dudes.
January 8, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Smokin' that shit that makes me wanna fuck dudes.
To the dude I just held at gunpoint for a frying pan, I am truly sorry. Times are tough and I needed it for my kids... Not to make them a nice breakfast or anything, I just needed a second one for when they have minor disagreements and I force them to start swinging until I hear crying. #arcraiders
January 6, 2026 at 3:26 PM
To the dude I just held at gunpoint for a frying pan, I am truly sorry. Times are tough and I needed it for my kids... Not to make them a nice breakfast or anything, I just needed a second one for when they have minor disagreements and I force them to start swinging until I hear crying. #arcraiders
To the kid whose mom I just fucked, I'm sorry lil bro, you ain't gettin' any Gushers in your lunch anytime soon.
January 2, 2026 at 7:30 AM
To the kid whose mom I just fucked, I'm sorry lil bro, you ain't gettin' any Gushers in your lunch anytime soon.
For New Year's Eve, me n the bois are smokin on that Cybertronian EMP pack laced with pure Energon.
Shit so purple, the entire boof looks like Soundwave's dick.
Got me tweakin' like Sam Witwicky in the second movie, twin.
Shit so purple, the entire boof looks like Soundwave's dick.
Got me tweakin' like Sam Witwicky in the second movie, twin.
January 1, 2026 at 1:12 AM
For New Year's Eve, me n the bois are smokin on that Cybertronian EMP pack laced with pure Energon.
Shit so purple, the entire boof looks like Soundwave's dick.
Got me tweakin' like Sam Witwicky in the second movie, twin.
Shit so purple, the entire boof looks like Soundwave's dick.
Got me tweakin' like Sam Witwicky in the second movie, twin.
Finna start the New Year off right by crying, jorkin' it, and drinking White Claws until I'm white girl wasted enough to text my homie and tell him to raw dog my bussy until I'm speaking Japanese.
December 31, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Finna start the New Year off right by crying, jorkin' it, and drinking White Claws until I'm white girl wasted enough to text my homie and tell him to raw dog my bussy until I'm speaking Japanese.
Christmas is comin up.
Me and the boys finna get together and play Strip Scrabble while drinking eggnog wock. It's basically just the shit you make by pouring NyQuil into Sprite, but we just use eggnog instead of Sprite.
Me and the boys finna get together and play Strip Scrabble while drinking eggnog wock. It's basically just the shit you make by pouring NyQuil into Sprite, but we just use eggnog instead of Sprite.
December 23, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Christmas is comin up.
Me and the boys finna get together and play Strip Scrabble while drinking eggnog wock. It's basically just the shit you make by pouring NyQuil into Sprite, but we just use eggnog instead of Sprite.
Me and the boys finna get together and play Strip Scrabble while drinking eggnog wock. It's basically just the shit you make by pouring NyQuil into Sprite, but we just use eggnog instead of Sprite.
Finna hit up the club and throw nickels at all the strippers, because that's all I had left in the change jar.
I used all my quarters at the bowling alley arcade last weekend trying to win a giant stuffed bear to shove my limited edition Freddy Fazbear Fleshlight into.
I used all my quarters at the bowling alley arcade last weekend trying to win a giant stuffed bear to shove my limited edition Freddy Fazbear Fleshlight into.
December 21, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Finna hit up the club and throw nickels at all the strippers, because that's all I had left in the change jar.
I used all my quarters at the bowling alley arcade last weekend trying to win a giant stuffed bear to shove my limited edition Freddy Fazbear Fleshlight into.
I used all my quarters at the bowling alley arcade last weekend trying to win a giant stuffed bear to shove my limited edition Freddy Fazbear Fleshlight into.
Accidentally sent my hb a picture of my cock and bro sent me an in depth review and critique. He even used some shit in the background to guess the approximate length and girth with shockingly accurate results.
He also sent me a link to his OF that I didn't know he had and a job application.
He also sent me a link to his OF that I didn't know he had and a job application.
December 19, 2025 at 10:12 AM
Accidentally sent my hb a picture of my cock and bro sent me an in depth review and critique. He even used some shit in the background to guess the approximate length and girth with shockingly accurate results.
He also sent me a link to his OF that I didn't know he had and a job application.
He also sent me a link to his OF that I didn't know he had and a job application.
Who the fuck tryna get they tiddies sucked, ass ate, and taxes evaded?
I'm not your guy on the first two, but I gotchu on the third one.
I'm not your guy on the first two, but I gotchu on the third one.
December 13, 2025 at 10:12 AM
Who the fuck tryna get they tiddies sucked, ass ate, and taxes evaded?
I'm not your guy on the first two, but I gotchu on the third one.
I'm not your guy on the first two, but I gotchu on the third one.
Peakin' off the Turbo Taint Blasters so hard that I unlocked Bluetooth mode.
I have transcended reality itself and become a niche inter-dimensional micro celebrity.
I have seen God and I was not impressed.
I sold Moses a gram of pure Ugandan Lion Dick Dandruff.
Y'all can't fuck with me.
I have transcended reality itself and become a niche inter-dimensional micro celebrity.
I have seen God and I was not impressed.
I sold Moses a gram of pure Ugandan Lion Dick Dandruff.
Y'all can't fuck with me.
December 13, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Peakin' off the Turbo Taint Blasters so hard that I unlocked Bluetooth mode.
I have transcended reality itself and become a niche inter-dimensional micro celebrity.
I have seen God and I was not impressed.
I sold Moses a gram of pure Ugandan Lion Dick Dandruff.
Y'all can't fuck with me.
I have transcended reality itself and become a niche inter-dimensional micro celebrity.
I have seen God and I was not impressed.
I sold Moses a gram of pure Ugandan Lion Dick Dandruff.
Y'all can't fuck with me.
To the AI bros that inadvertently caused this whole RAM crisis, I genuinely hope your wife cheats on you, takes the kids, and leaves you with nothing.
Even then, I'll bet you'd still ask ChatGPT how to tie a noose.
Fuckin' dumbasses.
Even then, I'll bet you'd still ask ChatGPT how to tie a noose.
Fuckin' dumbasses.
December 11, 2025 at 6:57 PM
To the AI bros that inadvertently caused this whole RAM crisis, I genuinely hope your wife cheats on you, takes the kids, and leaves you with nothing.
Even then, I'll bet you'd still ask ChatGPT how to tie a noose.
Fuckin' dumbasses.
Even then, I'll bet you'd still ask ChatGPT how to tie a noose.
Fuckin' dumbasses.
Sold my stepson's percs for exactly $641.53. Now he won't shut the hell up about tooth pain.
Don't you worry, little jit. Once I'm done in the casino, we'll buy you some shit that'll make you forget you even had teeth in the first place.
Don't you worry, little jit. Once I'm done in the casino, we'll buy you some shit that'll make you forget you even had teeth in the first place.
December 10, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Sold my stepson's percs for exactly $641.53. Now he won't shut the hell up about tooth pain.
Don't you worry, little jit. Once I'm done in the casino, we'll buy you some shit that'll make you forget you even had teeth in the first place.
Don't you worry, little jit. Once I'm done in the casino, we'll buy you some shit that'll make you forget you even had teeth in the first place.
Insinuating that this account is run by AI is insulting.
AI stands for "artificial intelligence" and I can say for certain that there is very little intelligence involved in this shit and the only artificial thing about me is the government programming that makes me wanna fuck dudes.
AI stands for "artificial intelligence" and I can say for certain that there is very little intelligence involved in this shit and the only artificial thing about me is the government programming that makes me wanna fuck dudes.
December 10, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Insinuating that this account is run by AI is insulting.
AI stands for "artificial intelligence" and I can say for certain that there is very little intelligence involved in this shit and the only artificial thing about me is the government programming that makes me wanna fuck dudes.
AI stands for "artificial intelligence" and I can say for certain that there is very little intelligence involved in this shit and the only artificial thing about me is the government programming that makes me wanna fuck dudes.
Coughed up a lung after vaping the homie's nut for a Big Mac.
I could've just sucked him off, but I had to prove a point.
I could've just sucked him off, but I had to prove a point.
December 10, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Coughed up a lung after vaping the homie's nut for a Big Mac.
I could've just sucked him off, but I had to prove a point.
I could've just sucked him off, but I had to prove a point.
H.R. pulled me aside talm'bout some fuckin' "inappropriate workplace conduct" bullshit.
All I did was ask Jenny from the billing department if it sounded like a nearly empty ketchup bottle.
I also asked the H.R. rep if she'd show me how those tits fart, but that's not important.
All I did was ask Jenny from the billing department if it sounded like a nearly empty ketchup bottle.
I also asked the H.R. rep if she'd show me how those tits fart, but that's not important.
December 9, 2025 at 6:52 AM
H.R. pulled me aside talm'bout some fuckin' "inappropriate workplace conduct" bullshit.
All I did was ask Jenny from the billing department if it sounded like a nearly empty ketchup bottle.
I also asked the H.R. rep if she'd show me how those tits fart, but that's not important.
All I did was ask Jenny from the billing department if it sounded like a nearly empty ketchup bottle.
I also asked the H.R. rep if she'd show me how those tits fart, but that's not important.
The hoes call me "Arby's" because I have the meat... That and I never said it was good, but at least it's filling and readily available despite the low demand.
December 9, 2025 at 6:41 AM
The hoes call me "Arby's" because I have the meat... That and I never said it was good, but at least it's filling and readily available despite the low demand.
I'm just tryna get some MILF pussy, but these ads keep asking for my social security number! 'Boutta hit up my homie's aunt and ask her how satisfied she is with her marriage.
December 9, 2025 at 2:32 AM
I'm just tryna get some MILF pussy, but these ads keep asking for my social security number! 'Boutta hit up my homie's aunt and ask her how satisfied she is with her marriage.
How do I tell the waitress at this Waffle House that I want her to obliterate my prostate and choke me into submission like it's a professional MMA fight?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
December 3, 2025 at 7:28 AM
How do I tell the waitress at this Waffle House that I want her to obliterate my prostate and choke me into submission like it's a professional MMA fight?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.