Trump be the kind of guy to ban hand railing on stairs only for him to fall on his fat ass while walking down some, then say "the concrete was too soft, we'll look into making concrete harder"

I'm a Bejeweled purist, don't EVER catch my ass playing candy crush 👿👿

Sewage leaks be a blessing for big time farters. Rip that shit and no one bats an eye.

NOSFERATU FLOW

Thinking about making a character named Trevor Tractor, thoughts?

Motherfuckers at Christmas dressing up like the grinch think they're so funny doing wine mom jokes, cut the act Linda, ur not funny.

I apologize for my last tweet, I didn't mean it

Winnie the Poop

ADHD sometimes will just decide its bored of being bored so it will do things and get bored so then you can be bored because the thing you did was boring and maybe the boring thing you did before might be more interesting.

Marsupials be poppin off like daaammnn there ain't no ball in that sack, just a little fucking feller cmon