Like yesterday l had a chargrilled chop with a sauce l never had and vegetables I'm slowly getting comfortable with - pumpkin and broccolini. 2/2

Starting to put myself more and more first. Yes, it feels weird and anxiety etc starts to kick in. But acknowledging, trying something different and getting out there will l believe help in the end.
So I've gone out for lunch and bought something l never have and something I've had for comfort. 1/2

But sometimes my anxiety kicks in and revert back to putting others first to avoid disappointing them, strangers and making them happy.
But there are times where l put myself first and not worry about others. And my world didn't implode. Less of the former and more of the latter. 2/2

Putting myself ahead of others is a struggle if not a confusing situation at times. But over the last few months there is light at the end of the tunnel (as they say). I've mentioned this to others and they say l should put myself first (which l have at times)... 1/2

And have always been sensitive to smells. From cigarette smoke on people's clothes when l had to hug them (yuck) to fireworks smells. I guess that's why l haven't been to the fireworks for a long time, and obviously the bang/whistle noise doesn't help. 2/2

Also, I've noticed I'm more sensitive to noise. For example when plates, glasses and cutlery are dropped, when chatter gets too busy for my brain to process and when l popped those air pillows used for packaging. I'd normally just cut them with scissors and roll up - no noise. 1/2

...l can either go off somewhere to recharge or go home, thank them obviously.
I'll probably see a professional to help gather my thoughts and put a plan and goals in place to have a more fulfilling life. 2/2

P.S Am l autistic?.... maybe.

2026... it's a new year but continuing to discover who I am and being more confident in me. Letting others know how l felt growing up and that my needs are just as if not more important than their wants. Eg saying no when they keep offering food. And know when my social battery is spent and...1/2

Yesterday l went up first (didn't want to, didn't want to cause a fuss), got the amount l wanted to be satisfied & not stuffed. And yes people suggested l get more (encouraged) twice. At the start and as l finished. I had stuff before so I'm not as hungry. They shouldn't judge. 2/2

(I normally go up last at the self serve buffet, although those hosting, encourage me to go first). I feel like I'm being watched, that's why l want to go up last so they can concentrate on themselves and not look at what I'm getting and judging me. I don't want much, just want to be satisfied. 1/2

Seasons Greetings. Today is a reminder that your mental health matters. If someone is affecting your mental health, remind them that you prioritise your mental health over their beliefs, wishes and demands.
Going through life & putting on a face to please others was not good for my mental health.