The other night I got so high I convinced myself that the giant tree-of-heaven in my neighbor’s backyard is actually a triffid and I gooned myself the fuck out.

I really want to know what other songs were considered for the role of of Matchbox 20’s “Push” in Barbie.

Scowl rips, Taco Bell rips. I don’t see the problem here.

Recruiters went from being like “Work in a yurt somewhere we don’t give a fuck” to “The company has a hybrid policy in which employees are expected in the office Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and Tuesday mornings and Friday afternoons” real fucking fast.

I’m at my town’s pool and there isn’t anyone within 20 feet of me either on land or in water and this shit is glorious.

A friend of mine was in some stock photography and let me tell you it is very disorienting when I encounter it in the wild (and also very odd that it has now happened a few times).

I like Christopher Nolan okay, but seeing Oppenheimer in the theater sounds about as fun as doing your taxes or getting your car inspected or whatever.

I also learned on this trip that you can totally fly and check into hotels without ID. Be free, go wild.

Once you install a bidet in your house, traveling then becomes an adventure in which you try to avoid shitting until right before you take a shower.

I don’t have enough pithy thoughts to spread across all these things.

Oh the smoke is back? Living through the end of society on a dying planet suxx.