I don't want any pity or sympathy.

Because if it takes getting to my breaking point, having a meltdown and being vocal about it, it doesn't matter.

I'm talking into the void 99% of the time. I can't pull attention on my art no matter where I post because it's fucking trash and boring. And god forbid I try to market my work while I'm shitty and broke. I'm tired of trying to do anything. I'm a failure and that will never change.

The whole time Ive had to fight with myself that this isn't anything suddenly life-threatening, I just had a migraine so bad that it made me nauseous, unable to eat, upset my stomach terribly, made my neck ache...AS MIGRAINES JUST DO.

Its genuinely exhausting to deal with this.

The reality is that most of these things can be explained and there is a reason (or suspected reason) that is absolutely NOT life-threatening.
Being sick in any capacity is so anxiety-inducing. Had the worst migraine I've had in a very long time tonight and it made me physically ill bc it's so bad.

[Mild TMI]
I've been having a really bad flare up of stomach/GI issues and aggressive GERD for a while. I've been having more side pains, cramping and bleeding than I have had in a long time. Ive been having more headaches + migraines. My anxiety is SCREAMING something is wrong.

Naaah, do it. It's not like people are obligated to buy you anything just because you made it public. If someone wants to get you somethin' nice, it's their choosing to do a nice thing~