Isaac Newton watching Wicked:

She's doing WHAT‽‽‽

one day I will know I return to the crystalline, the gravel, and the mulch

this pleases me

goddamn outed by my curtains

hi, a lot of people follow me, but for what I'll never know. they don't like my posts, I know that for sure!

evil and freaky fitbit: what are you doing, step-goals?

me when I'm a brain surgeon and I dropped my knife-esque-tool-thingy, brutally killing the patient who was not under anesthesia because I used it all last night trying to fall asleep at 5:50am on a Thursday:

oh no! my scallops :(

congratulations yo @dollip.bsky.social for winning Sonic Fibbage!

(I heard they won with a lead of a gabizillion points)

In the chat of a cool video essayist, about to close it out, when a cool artist I know shows up. I stay cool around them 'til we both start talking about how cool bleeding heart pigeons are, when I type-in all caps-their name, and then my autistic ass starts backpedaling and apologizing. So...

Can we swear on this platform? Can I say fuck and jizz? Shit and cumshot??!

Dude, this salad dressing sucks! There's mustard on the beets, bro!

Guys, I'm going to think of a REAL GOOD skeet any day now
Going to start posting jokes

ANY DAY NOW...

any day now.