Current Update Media | News Network
currentupdatemedia.bsky.social
Current Update Media | News Network
@currentupdatemedia.bsky.social
Current Update Media is the ultimate unbiased news source, written only by White Moms with crime podcasts. We works around the clock to almost provide you with sufficient enough knowledge about the modern day. Our writers are almost payed minimum wage!
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Tired of your old news sources? Try us and our meaningless slop instead!

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TOP STORY TODAY:
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Read our article on the UKs new Online Safety Act: sites.google.com/view/current...

In the article are links to petitions and donate boxes.
July 27, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Google has let us out of a block, we have full access to the website again but are planning on changing domains so we don't get locked again. Sorry about the delays but everything is back to normal.
July 27, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Elon has officially stepped down as First Buddy of the United States, changing his profile picture on X (formerly Twitter) to a black void, rumored to be a diagram of his soul. Elon announced his firing earlier this night, the other firing that will hopefully happen is a gun to his head soon.
May 29, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Inspirational Quotes from rich fuckers to get you through your day, a 🧵
May 29, 2025 at 1:20 AM
FUCK YOUR COMPUTER

Read the full article here: sites.google.com/view/current...
May 13, 2025 at 12:20 AM
The Pope is dead and the Conclave starts May 5th, and we know people have questions. We have officially started a HYPOTHETICALS branch to Current Update Media! Can Joe Biden become the Pope? Read more to find out!

sites.google.com/view/current...

Feel Free to ask questions you want answered below!
April 30, 2025 at 12:10 AM
The woke mob cancels Trump because his left testicle hangs lower‽‽

#news #breakingnews #trending #Testicle
March 21, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Want to express how mad you are at the world? Purchase a tee-shirt with your discretionary spending money!

sites.google.com/view/current...
March 11, 2025 at 9:33 PM
90% of people who signed up for the United States army reported to have only done so to kill someone and get away with it because "it's so damn fun, god the thrills"
March 8, 2025 at 4:38 PM
"People don't want to do what they're told, we tell them to pour bleach into their bloodstream to stop all ailments and they disobey. I just wanted them to be safe but nooooo..." - Greg Abbot, after getting asked about the recent Measles outbreaks.
March 1, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Too many plane crashes have happened in America recently that 9/11 jokes are now set in October according to Vice President JD Vance in recent interview
February 17, 2025 at 10:32 PM
It wasn't a Roman salute, the sun was hitting his eyes really badly

Full article here:
sites.google.com/view/current...
January 21, 2025 at 10:51 PM
We've been panicking here over at Current Update Media, having to do live tracking on this motherfucker. Vivek is gone already, and so are my braincells.

Track Donald Trumps second term here: sites.google.com/view/current...
January 21, 2025 at 2:00 AM
It's inauguration day, meaning the Donald Trump counters are going live! As Hell leaks to earth in real time, at least you know that Gas went up 35 cents total.

Track Here:
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January 20, 2025 at 7:30 PM
TikTok feels quaint and peaceful now... almost perfect
January 19, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Tired of your old news sources? Try us and our meaningless slop instead!

sites.google.com/view/current...
Home
TOP STORY TODAY:
sites.google.com
January 17, 2025 at 7:39 PM
"Remember Your Oath, because I can't remember mine"
January 17, 2025 at 7:38 PM
BREAKING!!

Famous Matt Gaets Cosplayer, Rumpelstiltskin announces after a long and tedious time in and out of the courthouse, he has changed his name to Rubmyforeskin. He then later announced that nobody listens to directions anymore.
January 1, 2025 at 3:12 PM
January 1, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Breaking: The gayest person you know comes out as bisexual.
December 28, 2024 at 6:54 PM
Fuel our capitalist fire and spiral into madness with our first ever merch drop! We are hoping to release the second drop later this week, and let's just say, my peanits

www.zazzle.com/store/curren...
www.zazzle.com
December 25, 2024 at 1:05 PM
"STOP CALLING HIM PRESIDENT MUSK" - Trump after losing his job to a immigrant.

(December 21st, 9:03pm est)
December 23, 2024 at 2:58 AM
Missing Congress woman found in nursing home after 6 months, diagnosed with Dementia. GOP huzzahs because they've been looking for a 2028 Trump replacement
December 23, 2024 at 2:38 AM
Hillary Clinton unvails her witches brew while playing Maroon 5 at Panera.
December 18, 2024 at 1:17 AM
🧵

We have gotten exclusive interviews with North Korean citizens and asked them on their opinions on topics.
December 17, 2024 at 3:27 AM