I have never been more jealous of fictional women until now cause WHAT-

CHARLIE YOU FUMBLED BAD/hj

Hahaha I colored it XD

You can hear the “Ride it” trend playing in the background

All I can imagine is Aux pointing at him like

Aux: Oh come on! Why do I look like a kid and you look your age?
Vann: OH SHUT IT! At least you still look beautiful!
Aux: Are you serious?

What’s funnier is that, it’s not even lust or deer brain trying to breed . Somehow his deer brain just went “well we can magic the pregnancy? Obviously?” Because the asexuality runs that deep/hj

Vincent wins and his deer brain is just swooning over how strong his doe is and how strong the fawns will be. It takes everything in him to keep the deer brain from fawning over Vincent as he pats his back for a job well done putting and KEEPING down a bold but weak idiot.

It reaches a point where someone tries to pick a fight with Vincent and Alastor has to physically pull himself away because deer brain is screaming to fight and prove his strength to his doe and Alastor brain is screaming back “WHY HE CAN DEFEND HIMSELF??” "BUT THATS OUR WIFE!" “OUR WHAT?!” #voxal

about?

He is absolutely gaslighting himself and shoving away how his brain keeps trying to claim Vincent as his doe and the glee it gets seeing Vincent so much fuller and gaining healthy weight. How else is he gonna carry his fawns? Another Alastor classic of burying it because that wasn’t him!

Stop saying that! He just likes to share good food! He definitely doesn’t enjoy caring for Vincent to a degree. He definitely doesn’t like seeing h̶i̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶ Vincent being happy, well-cared for and enjoying it all. It doesn’t scratch that domestic itch he thought died with him! What are you talking-

It gets worse as he tries to power through his rut because he always ends up feeding Vincent under the guise of feeling generous or making too much food and not letting it go to waste! Vincent is Vincent and always happily accepts and NO, it does NOT scratch an itch Alastor didn’t even know existed-

-stop him and he can explain.

But NOPE! His bloodthirsty angry deer brain saw Vincent, saw his back arch and how thin he was and went “This doe needs more meat on his bones, how’s he gonna carry my fawns through winter?” And that makes him freeze.

What did he just think about?

Like, idk how to explain it other than maybe during a rut, Alastor is usually just more aggressive and easier to anger because his libido? NOTHING, man’s has no desire for pleasure like that in any way. So ofc, he thinks he’ll be fine because even if he ends up trying to fight Vincent, Vincent can-

Differently? And he has to figure out what intimacy he MIGHT enjoy if he ever wants a relationship?

So many things are making so much more sense looking through the lens of “I’m actually asexual, nothing is wrong with me, and I shouldn’t have to have sex for my partner to be happy”.

Something he’d actually enjoy.

It only took recently to realize that maybe his right missus could be a right mister and now he’s finding out that he just literally CANT feel the way some do about lovers because he was born that way? It’s not even something is wrong or anything, it just works-

The things she’s saying are starting to make more and more sense as he thinks about it, especially when it comes to how he feels about intimacy and sex in general.

There was only one person he felt curious about ROMANTIC intimacy with but sexual intimacy always seemed more like a chore than-

Turns out, I’m on the aroace spectrum and I had to dig to research it because asexuality “doesn’t exist”. I can just imagine Alastor standing there puzzled because doesn’t that mean he’s trying to make a clone of himself like a cell? Then Charlie starts to (very carefully) explain it and some of-